My Father's Shadow, Part Four
by MisterEWriter
Summary: The story continues... Alex has just turned 16, Steve and Catherine just got married, and the ohana is being kept busy with a variety of different issues. What's in store next for the McGarrett's and all of their ohana? Follows canon as much as possible. Warning: It's probably necessary to read parts 1-3 first to understand everything that has happened.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First, I must say thank you to FicreaderT, whose idea it was to have Steve and Catherine marry before Kono, Adam, and Doris left for China. So sorry for forgetting to mention that at the conclusion of part 3. I also want to take a few moments to express how gob smacked I am by the number of reviews (24!) on the last chapter of Part 3. Not to mention the shocking number of readers who added me to their favorite author and favorite stories lists! I am totally blown away! **

**As for this chapter… I know it's been three weeks or so since I finished part 3 but, I must say, time seemingly continues to pass even faster. Everything about my life is busy at the moment. It's also been a rough couple of weeks, especially the last two days in which my world has been rocked by two deaths (one on the 17****th****, one yesterday). I hate cancer! Please bear with me if parts of this chapter are a little chaotic – I had all sorts of ideas running around in my head but putting them into words has been a struggle. **

**Warning: This very long chapter contains spoilers for practically the entire Episode 4.01. Some of the dialogue is taken directly from the episode with some add-ons of my own to include Alexandra in the storyline.**

**Let Part Four commence…**

* * *

At his daughter's request he had woken up earlier than normal that morning so he and Alex could go on an extra long run. After their ten miles – they were preparing to run the Eco Run Half Marathon together in October – they had performed abdominal crunches in the backyard until they reached burnout – Alex had reached that point first – before heading inside to shower. Once clean and dressed they had each picked up a plate of food in the kitchen that Catherine had prepared for and handed to them. Then, with Catherine having the day off, he had driven Alex to school, making sure her bike, which they had transported in the truck bed, was locked on the bike rack before he had headed to the prison for a little visit with Wo Fat.

He had gone there with the hope that Wo Fat would provide an answer as to why Doris had gone to see him. After some dialogue, Wo Fat had promised to tell him but only _if_ Steve helped him get out of there. Steve had no idea what Fat had been referring to but his question had been only slightly answered when gun shots and explosions were heard resounding in the corridor outside of the holding cell. Fat had told Steve that "they" were there to kill him and that Steve was the only man who could protect him. He had inquired as to who "they" were but Wo Fat had refused to answer, instead shrinking back into the darkness of the cell. Steve had hid behind a pillar as four men, carrying laser sighted weapons and wearing heavy duty armor, entered the room and began firing at the bulletproof glass of the holding cell. One of them men had left a detonator, the timer counting down, on the glass. Steve had used that opportunity to take out one of the men from behind, using that man's body as a shield and his weapon as a means to shoot the other three men. He then stopped the detonator from counting down; the timer had been far too close to zero for his liking. His team had arrived several minutes later, well after the gunfight had ended, when he had been dragging the lone survivor of the attacking unit through the dead body filled corridor. He had instructed Chin and Danny to move Wo Fat to another heavily secured facility while he took the man to HQ for interrogation.

To think that that near-death experience would be the worst part of his day had been a giant mistake.

In the middle of his interrogation, Chin had called him from upstairs, informing him that the man in custody had been identified as the nephew of El Condor. El Condor served as the head of the NLM, the organization whose planned terrorist attack on San Francisco had been prevented by Five-0 during their case just yesterday. Steve, Chin, and Danny all assumed that the NLM was after Wo Fat because he had helped them track down the information about the terrorist attack. Only minutes later Chin had called him back, informing him that there was a situation upstairs; however, before Steve could find out what the situation was exactly, his cell phone – as well as Danny's – had, strangely, lost its' signal. His instincts kicking in, he and Danny had moved the man from interrogation to a storage room down the hall where Steve had been forced to perform CPR on the man while Danny had oddly started discussing his love life with him. A gunfight had ensued with Steve shooting at the hostile through the same bullet hole that had struck El Condor's nephew earlier.

Not long after that, another hostile's voice had come over the radio, instructing Five-0 to hand over the nephew or they would shoot a hostage. Sure enough, a gunshot, followed by a woman screaming, could be heard on the radio. That had been when he and Danny had made the decision to head back upstairs with the injured man. As soon as they had reached the atrium, he and Danny had been ordered to go to their knees, essentially becoming hostages themselves; Chin had joined them after Danny had been threatened at gunpoint. Once Chin had joined them, the ringleader of the crew had shot the nephew with a direct killing shot to the heart. Then the entire NLM crew had turned over their weapons and surrendered to them. With the hostiles in custody, they had exited the building, only to be greeted by members of the HPD SWAT team, to include a giant of a man that Steve had never seen before.

As he had walked past Duke and the SWAT team, Steve had heard his daughter shout for him and, searching the crowd, he had watched as Alex, standing next to Kamekona, had pushed past one of the HPD officers, headed straight for him. She had practically launched herself into his arms before she noticed the blood on his shirt. As he had assured her that the blood was not his, Danny had joined them – Alex hugged him, too – before Max had come towards them, greeting them and expressing how glad he had been to see them. Chin, fresh from carrying the injured hostage to an ambulance, had then approached them, expressing his confusion at what had just taken place. While they couldn't quite understand why the NLM had gone through so much trouble to get El Condor's nephew back, only to turn around and kill him, one thing had been clear: while Chin had been holed up in HQ, two of the NLM soldiers had grabbed data off of Five-0's Smart Table before they had destroyed the hardware. Clearly there was more to the story.

That was the moment when the day got even worse, when this case suddenly became very personal for Steve. As he had started to lead his daughter away from the crime scene, his phone had rung; the caller ID showed that it had been Catherine calling. He had answered it, assuring Catherine immediately that everything was fine at HQ, but the ground had quickly come out from under him when a male voice, thick with an accent, and who Steve instinctively knew was El Condor, had come across the line. El Condor had kidnapped Catherine, using her for leverage so that Steve would release the NLM soldiers that SWAT had just taken into custody. Catherine had, in a manner that had reminded him eerily of that last conversation he had had with his father, screamed for him to not give into El Condor's demands. The sound of Catherine getting hit after that had only added to Steve's desire to kill the man. With a deadline of ten minutes, Steve had not had any time to explain anything to Alex. He had known she was freaked out – she had been close enough to hear part of the conversation with El Condor – but all he had done was tell her that everything would be okay and he had instructed her to stay with Kamekona.

Now, as he sped down the streets of Honolulu, the images in his mind alternated between how beautiful Catherine had looked that morning when he had kissed her goodbye, the absolutely terrified look on Alex's face only moments ago, and the memory of that last conversation with his dad. How the hell was he in this position again? As the SEAL and cop, _he_ was the one who was supposed to be in danger, not his family. Not his child and not his wife.

"Can we have a little talk now please?"

Danny's question got his attention, although the images still played in his mind like a silent movie reel playing in the background. "About what?"

"Uh, I don't know, the weather," Danny said sarcastically. "I want to talk about what we're doing."

"This isn't the best time, Danny," Steve told him as he maneuvered the Camaro around a few more vehicles.

"See, this is where I disagree," Danny argued. "I think now would be the perfect time because I would like to be prepared. You know, do I need to put on some extra Kevlar or call my daughter and say goodbye for the last time?"

"We're gonna do what they ask. We're gonna release the prisoners, that's what we're gonna do."

"Please understand that I want to get Catherine back as much as you do," Danny told him. "But how do we know they are going to let her go if we do what they ask?"

"We can't," Steve admitted, forcefully swallowing the taste of bile in his mouth. It scared him to death that yet another person he loved, the woman he had married less than twenty-four hours ago, was having her life threatened by a lunatic. It terrified the shit out of him that Catherine was out there, somewhere unknown, experiencing who knew what horrors. That was when Alex's words from not too long ago echoed through his head. _'I knew where I was; I knew what was happening to me… You didn't know any of that, Dad. The fear you were going through was worse than anything I was enduring at the time.' _That fear of the unknown was, once again, crippling but his daughter's words gave him the strength to go on, to push aside his own fear and do what he needed to do to get Catherine back where she belonged: in his arms.

"That's my point!" Danny stated. "We can't do this. It's not even stupid. It's beyond stupid, it's off the goof meter completely. It's career ending."

"Okay," Steve said. "Stop. Listen to me," he pleaded. "My daughter was kidnapped by people like this and I almost lost her. I _did_ lose my Dad dealing with people like this." He shook his head, blinking away the emotion that threatened to spill from his eyes. "I'm not going to lose Catherine, too."

"I have your back always," Danny finally stated, understanding that Steve was terrified and understanding that, regardless of how stupid this was, regardless of how stupid any of Steve's decisions were, he would always have Steve's back.

"Thank you," Steve returned. He nodded towards the windshield, spotting the SWAT van driving towards them. "There it is. Hold on."

* * *

"Catherine!" Steve shouted as he stepped out of the driver's side of the SWAT van. He and Danny had stopped the van and then he had ordered, with weapon in hand, for Grover, the new head of HPD SWAT, down to the ground. After that, they had gotten all of the SWAT members to relinquish their weapons before freeing the NLM soldiers. That was when, right at the ten minute mark as had been threatened, El Condor called, once again using Catherine's cell phone. After some discussion with the crazed man, Steve learned that Catherine was at Ka'ena Point and they had headed their immediately, leaving the SWAT team standing on the side of the road.

"Catherine!" His shout was echoed by Danny's. Not getting an answer, he jogged into the jungle and looked around. "This is it," he stated, a hint of desperation in his voice. "He said she'd be right here."

"Steve!"

He heard Danny shout and turned to look where Danny was pointing. "Catherine!" He took off down the embankment, hurrying towards her. "Catherine!" he said again, moments before he reached her. "You okay?" He immediately reached for his knife, cutting the ties that bound her wrists together. He looked at her, his eyes scanning every part of her face, before drawing her into his arms. He held her tightly against him as he finally felt his racing heart start to calm down. He had been so close, so very close, to losing the woman he loved. So close to being forced to telling his daughter for the third time in less than three years that someone she loved had been taken from them. He finally released her, inspecting her more closely, taking in the bruise on her face, before quickly scanning the rest of her body. He brushed a strand of hair off her face. "You're okay?" he asked before quickly kissing her. "You alright?"

She nodded. "I'm okay but, Steve, you shouldn't have let them go."

"I'm not going to lose you." She could hear the love in his voice, the emotion in his eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," she told him again. "I'm good but you let them get away."

"That's what they think," he commented, a smirk appearing on his face. "Come on," he told her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pressing a kiss to the side of her head. He started to lead her up the embankment but stopped to pull his phone out of his pocket. "You should probably call our daughter."

Catherine took the phone from him, selecting Alex's name and waiting for the phone to connect the call. Catherine leaned into Steve, laying her head on his shoulder. The phone rang barely rang once before Alex's voice came over the speaker phone. "Dad! Is Mom okay? Did you find her?"

"It's me, Honey," Catherine told her. "I'm safe. I'm okay."

A sob was heard coming through the phone. "I was so scared," Alex said quietly. Her original plans for the day had been to spend the afternoon – it was a half day of school that day – working on homework in her dad's office. Then the plan had been to head home to continue working on Grandpa's car. The last thing she had expected was for her dad and uncles to be held hostage and for her mom to be kidnapped.

"I know, Honey," Catherine said, sharing a look with Steve, knowing that the events of today had probably reminded Alex of her kidnapping. "I was too but it's okay now. I'm okay."

"Can we all go home now?"

"Not yet, Sweetheart," Steve answered. "The case isn't over with yet. We have to go now but we'll call you soon okay?"

Alex expelled a breath which told both adults that she wasn't happy about the case not being over yet. "Okay," she finally said. "Love you both."

"Love you, too."

"And Dad? Thanks for getting Mom back."

* * *

"Okay," Steve said, stepping back and closing the hood of his dad's 1974 Marquis. "I think she's ready for a test drive."

"Really?" Alex asked excitedly. "We're all done?" She and her dad had been working on repairing her grandfather's car for several months now. She had thought it would take longer than that to get the car up and running again.

Steve nodded, smiling at his daughter's excitement. He had really cherished these last few months, the many nights where he worked with his daughter, teaching her everything he knew about cars, standing over the engine, explaining to her what every single part was and how it operated, or getting covered in oil and grease while laying side-by-side on slide boards under the vehicle; now that it was over, he was going to miss those moments. He watched as his daughter moved around him, headed for the passenger side of the car, but then he decided to surprise her. "Hold on a minute." He reached into his pocket and pulled out the car keys. Holding them up, he offered them to her. "Wanna take her for a spin?"

"What?" Alex asked, surprise written all over her face. "Are you serious?"

He nodded, grinning at her. "You have your permit," he reminded her. She had received her permit two months ago and, even though they had not been able to spend a lot of time practicing, he had, on a few occasions, taken her to a deserted parking lot early in the morning before school started, allowing her to practice driving his truck and, twice, she had driven on the residential roads in their neighborhood. He had never allowed her to drive beyond a couple block radius. After the events of the day there was nothing more he wanted to do than see the joy on his daughter's face as she experienced her first real driving experience.

"But what if I hit something?" She felt that she had been doing pretty well with her driving lessons, having only ever hit a few cones her dad had set up in a parking lot, but, like she had on the two previous occasions, she was afraid to drive on the road, where there were more opportunities for her to hit something. "It's grandpa's car and we just fixed it."

Steve shrugged. "If you hit something, you hit something. No big deal." Seeing the hesitation in his daughter's eyes, he continued, "Yes, we just fixed the car but, if need be, we'll fix it again." He dangled the keys in front of her, tempting her to take them. "C'mon, Sweetheart, you've done a great job driving my truck and this isn't any different than that. Just not as big."

"But –"

"No 'buts'," he told her. He ran a hand across the hood of the car. "The first time I was allowed to drive in traffic it was in this car."

"You did?"

He nodded again. "It's a family tradition, Sweetheart. My dad took me for my first real drive in this car and it's something you and I should do, too."

A grin appeared on Alex's face and she swiped the keys from him before stepping around to the driver's side of the car. Opening the door, she asked him, "Where am I driving to?"

"How about we go for some shaved ice?" he suggested as he opened the passenger door.

"What about Mom?"

"Mom's spending the evening relaxing upstairs." After finding Catherine at Ka'ena Point, they had headed out to meet up with Chin, who was following Danny's Camaro, which the released NLM soldiers had taken. When they reached Chin's location they discovered Danny's car on fire; it was like they had all just lost a loved one. After a showdown with Grover in the street, they had learned from Duke that a news chopper had been reported stolen earlier that morning. Working on a gut instinct that the only place close enough for a chopper to land and take off was Aloha Stadium, they had sped off in that direction. After chasing El Condor into the stadium, Steve had been forced to lunge at the chopper as it was taking off, dangling precariously from it before he had succeeded in pulling one man out, which had given him access to the interior of the machine. A struggle over a gun had resulted in the pilot getting shot and, while the chopper began to spin dangerously, Steve had managed to toss El Condor out as well, not bothering to watch as the man's body tumbled towards the ground. After much physical exertion, he had managed, but just barely, to land the chopper in the parking lot. When Catherine had offered to treat all of them to a beer, he had taken her up on the offer, popping some Tylenol for his bruised ribs on the drive there. Kamekona had brought Alex there, meeting them just as they were heading home for the evening. He and Catherine had prepped dinner while Alex had finished her homework in the dining room and then, while Alex took Anchor for a quick walk, Catherine had informed him that she needed some alone time.

"Is she okay?"

"She's fine," he assured her, gesturing for her to get in the car. Sitting in the passenger seat, he closed the door and reached for the seatbelt. "She's a little sore but she's okay."

When Alex snapped her seatbelt in place, he reminded her, "What's the next thing you need to do?"

"Adjust the mirrors."

"Alright," he said, "do what you need to do and let's go."

* * *

"I'm really proud of you, you know that?" Steve looked down at his daughter as they walked along Aloha Tower Drive back in the direction of the car. During the drive to Aloha Tower Marketplace, their conversation had been limited to him giving her some driving guidance – don't slam on the breaks and go a little slower around turns – as well as praising her for things she had done well – always remembering to signal, coming to a complete stop at a stop sign, and ignoring her cell phone when she had received a phone call. Once they had found a place to park, he proceeded to talk to her about other subjects: her upcoming school exam schedule and the plan for tomorrow – they would attend Jason's deployment ceremony in the morning and then help the boys would move into the house – as well as giving his permission for her to go out on a date with Josh on Friday night. The only thing they had not really talked about yet was how she had handled everything that happened today.

"For what?" Alex asked, putting the last bit of her shaved ice into her mouth. "Not hitting anything during the drive here?"

"Well, yes," Steve said, taking her empty shaved ice dish from her and tossing it, along with his, into a trashcan as they walked past it. "But, no, I'm proud of you for today."

"Today?"

Steve placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder, leading her to a spot a few feet away where they could stop and not be in the way of pedestrian traffic. "I scared you today. I know that and I'm sorry."

"I _was_ scared," Alex confirmed, not bothering to go into detail about just how scared she had been. Or the many thoughts that had been running through her head, thoughts that had made her feel sick to her stomach. She shrugged. "But you had to go save Mom."

Steve nodded. "You're right; I did have to go save her. But that doesn't mean it was easy on you." He knew for a fact, from a conversation with Kamekona, that Alex had been far from okay during that hour and a half between learning of Catherine's kidnapping and the time of Catherine's phone call to her. "I'm proud of you for overcoming your fear and for being strong throughout all of the craziness of today."

Alex shrugged nonchalantly. "I learned it from you."

Steve nodded and gestured for them to start walking again. "And what's this about you fighting with one of the HPD officers outside HQ?" Kamekona had told him that, when he had arrived on the scene earlier, Alex had been engaged in a heated conversation with one of the officers at the barricade. Alex had been demanding that he let her through the barricade because she had ohana, including her dad and uncles, inside. Kamekona had gotten Alex to calm down but then, of course, had put up the same fight with the same HPD officer. "You tried to knock him out of the way because he wouldn't let you past the barricade while it was still an active hostage situation?"

Alex shrugged. "Learned that from you, too." Steve didn't have a response to that; she was, after all, his kid and he would probably have done the same thing if he had been her. They continued to walk for several minutes, neither of them saying a word. When they reached the car, Alex walked to the driver's side – it had already been decided earlier that she would drive home, too – and opened the door. Before getting inside, she said, "You know, Kamekona and I were talking earlier, about how even the worst and most terrifying things could always be worse and we talked about how lucky we all are to have you. If I didn't stay after school for ten minutes talking to my friends, I would have been inside HQ when those people showed up; I could've been a hostage and things may have gone differently. If you weren't you… a lot of things could have gone differently today." When her dad didn't say anything, she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. It was just something we were talking about." She then got into the car, leaving Steve standing outside for a few minutes, as he thought about what she had said.

He finally joined her, sitting back in the seat and turning to look at her. "Always remember how much I love you. Never forget how proud I am of you."

She gave him a bright smile. "I really enjoyed fixing this car with you and I'm gonna miss all that time we spent in the garage. I love you, Dad." She gave into a laugh. "Always remember how much I love you, respect you, and look up to you. Never forget that you're my hero."

* * *

"Oh, sorry," Alex said, stepping into the upstairs bathroom and seeing that Catherine was in the tub, soaking in a ton of bubbles. "I can wait to talk to you when you're done." She and her dad had just gotten back from their trip for shaved ice and, after the conversation with her dad earlier, all she had wanted to do after parking the car in the garage was talk to Catherine.

"Its okay, Honey," Catherine replied, thinking that it had been implied when she had answered Alex's knock to the door with a message to come in. "You can stay. Take a seat; let's chat."

Alex gave her an appreciative smile before closing the door behind her. Sitting on the closed toilet lid, she said, "Dad decided to walk Anchor for me since I wanted to talk to you."

"That was nice of him," Catherine commented. "What do you want to talk about?"

Alex didn't respond right away as she took in the sight of the purple bruise on Catherine's cheek. Her eyes drifted slightly downward, wincing as they locked onto another bruise on Catherine's shoulder that was not quite covered by the bubbles. "He hurt you," she said quietly, stating what had been obvious from the moment she had first seen Catherine after the whole ordeal. "How many other bruises did he give you?"

"I'm okay, Honey," Catherine told her before answering the question that she knew Alex absolutely needed answered. "Just the two. That's all."

"Is it just the bruises?" Alex asked with concern in her eyes. "Or –"

"Just bruises."

"Good," Alex replied, a look of relief passing across her face. "I mean, it's not good that you have bruises but…" Her gaze drifted down to the palm of her hand, where the scar that never truly faded served as a reminder of what had happened to her and as a sign of what could have happened to Catherine. "I'm just glad that something worse didn't happen." Her gaze drifted back up, locking onto Catherine. "I was so afraid that I was going to lose you." She swiped the back of her hand across her damp eyes. "I already lost my Mom to violence. I … I can't lose you, too."

"Oh, Honey." As Alex put her head in her hands, it was a clear indication that it was time for Catherine's relaxing bath to end; comforting her daughter took priority. She stood up, reaching for the oversized towel on the towel rack, and then stepped onto the microfiber bath mat that was on the floor outside of the tub. She quickly dried herself off and then wrapped the towel around her body, tucking it into place, and then stepped over to where Alex was sitting. She squatted next to her, wrapping an arm around her. "I know it was scary for you but it's over now." Catherine looked up when she heard the bathroom door open. Steve was standing there, a concerned expression on his face. She shook her head, a silent note for him to remain quiet and to allow her to deal with this. She returned her attention to the teenager. "I know you were scared," she repeated. "I'm sorry it made you think about what happened to your Mom."

"It's not your fault," Alex finally said, raising her head to look at Catherine with tear-filled eyes.

"I know it's not, Honey," Catherine told her, reaching up and wiping the tears off of Alex's cheeks. "But that doesn't mean I can't feel sorry about you being sad or scared."

Alex nodded in understanding. "I thought about her a lot today. Even after Dad saved you." She glanced over at Steve and then looked back at Catherine. "He saved me outside the smoothie shop and he saved you today. Grace was saved when she was kidnapped. Every day people have good, brave, and caring people who save them." She sighed and looked down at her lap. "Why couldn't she have had someone like that to save her?" She looked up at her father. "They just left her there, all alone in that alley, to die."

Steve stepped forward, squatting on the other side of his daughter. He reached up and brushed a strand of hair off of her face. "I agree that it wasn't fair what happened to your Mom. She didn't deserve to be treated that way." He placed a kiss on the top of her head as he willed himself to remain calm. He had no idea that one of the reasons his daughter had had such a hard time with what had happened today was because it made her think about Cindy and the cruel way in which she had been stabbed and left to die. He hated that this whole situation had made his daughter experience heartache over Cindy's death all over again. It made him so incredibly angry. "You have no idea how much I wish that someone could have been there to save your Mom."

"I tried," Alex stated. "Jeff and I – we tried to find her."

Steve nodded, remembering everything associated with Cindy having been missing, Alex's secret search for her, and the moment he told his daughter that her mother had been killed. "And you both did an amazing job; better than anyone could have done." He dropped a kiss to the top of her head again. "But, listen to me, Sweetheart," he said, bringing his head back so he was looking into his daughter's eyes. "I don't want you to feel guilty about that because it's not your fault. For whatever reason – for reasons unknown to us – things happened that were out of anyone's control."

"I know," Alex said, giving into a sniffle. "And I don't blame myself. I was just really scared today that I would lose another Mom."

"Well you don't have to be scared anymore," Catherine reminded her, giving her a loving smile. "I'm right here with you and your Dad. Right where I belong."

When a smile reappeared on his daughter's face, Steve took it as an opportunity to change the topic. "I don't know if Alex told you or not but we finished Dad's car."

"That's great," Catherine told them. Feeling her legs start to cramp, she stood up and sat on the edge of the tub.

"Yeah," Steve said, flashing a proud smile as he stood up and leaned against the sink. "_And_ Alex took it for a test drive."

"You did?!" Catherine said, smiling at the excited look on the teenager's face. "How'd you do?"

Alex shrugged. "I didn't hit anything so I guess I did okay."

"She did great!" Steve exclaimed. He turned his attention to his daughter. "Now what do you say we let Mom get dressed and then we find a movie to watch?"

* * *

"I know I've said this before but I cannot thank you enough," Jason, dressed in his Multicam uniform, told Steve and Catherine. "Knowing that my boys will be taken care of…" He trailed off, knowing he needed to stay strong for his boys. If his boys were to see how much of a toll this was taking on him – this deployment, from the moment he had received his orders, had left a sour taste in his mouth and an uneasy feeling in his chest, more so than any other deployment – this goodbye would only be more emotional for them.

"Oh, it's our pleasure," Catherine told him, understanding what he hadn't said. She knew from experience how hard deployments could be and saying goodbye to her parents and friends had always been difficult. Knowing that Jason was a single father, she imagined it was even harder for him to say goodbye, not knowing when he would see his boys again.

Steve nodded next to her. "We're happy to do it." He shook Jason's hand and then hugged him. "Stay safe, man. Once you get situated, let us know what you need and we'll be more than happy to mail it to you."

"Thanks," Jason replied. Glancing at his boys who were standing a few feet away, he whispered in Steve's ear, "If anything happens to me, give them these." He pulled two envelopes out of his front chest pocket and handed them to Steve. "I hope you don't have to but…"

Steve knew exactly what Jason was going through. He understood all of the emotions, the fear, and the uncertainty. He had always had a letter written for Alex, too, making sure someone – usually his father – would have access to it if he came home in a body bag. Fortunately, Alex had never had to read those words from him. Steve hoped that Josh and Sam would never have to read Jason's words either. He took the envelopes from Jason, finishing his friend's thought for him. "Just in case."

The two men shared another look of understanding before Jason moved down the line of people who had come to see him off. He shook Danny and Chin's hands before stopping in front of Alex, who quickly threw her arms around him in a hug. "Take care, Sir, and be safe. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Alex." He took another step to his left, wrapping an arm around each of his boys and taking several steps away from everyone else. He looked at his sons and instantly every second of their lives played on repeat in his mind. The awful sense of foreboding almost made him choke up but he had a job to do. Memorizing every aspect of his boys' faces – Josh had some facial hair now and Sam's dimples were more prominent than ever – he swallowed the lump in his throat. "You probably won't hear from me for a couple of days," he reminded them. "Maybe even longer than that since it will take awhile for us to get to our camp." He knew that his unit was being sent to a pretty remote outpost where telephone access existed but was not always reliable. He didn't want to tell his boys that now, however, so he just promised to call when he could. "But I will call as soon as I get a chance, okay?" His boys nodded in understanding. "Do your best to be good for the McGarrett's. Remember that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. Take care of each other."

"We will," Josh and Sam both told him.

"Even when Sam is being a pain in the butt," Josh joked. The smile he flashed his brother took away any sting from the comment.

"Even when Josh is staring at Alex and ignoring everything I say to him," Sam returned equally in good fun.

His youngest son's comment made him turn his attention to his oldest. "Respect Mr. McGarrett's rules for dating Alex and don't push the boundaries."

"I won't, Dad," Josh assured him. "I'll treat her the way you taught us to treat women."

"Good," Jason said, glancing over his shoulder as his soldiers started to head towards the C-130 that would take them on the first leg of their journey to Afghanistan. He returned his attention to his boys. "I love both of you more than you know and I am proud of the men you are becoming." He hugged Sam, kissing him on the head. "You keep playing your best in baseball. I'll want to hear all about your games when I call. Keep doing well on your homework and have fun this summer."

"I will, Dad," Sam returned. "I love you, too."

Jason looked at his oldest. It was so hard to believe that Josh was sixteen now, six feet tall and still growing. "Watch out for your brother like you always have and keep working towards your dreams but remember how important it is to have fun." He hugged Josh and then shook his hand.

"I love you, Dad."

* * *

"Mr. McGarrett?"

"Yes, Sam?" Steve glanced in the rearview mirror at the three kids in the backseat, taking in the solemn expression on Josh's face as he gazed out the side window before landing on the eleven year old.

"Can we stop by our house first? I think I forgot to grab my baseball glove and something else."

"Of course we can," Steve told him, not minding the last minute request as he flipped on his right turn signal instead of continuing straight through the intersection. The rest of the ten minute drive to the Sullivan house proceeded in absolute silence. It was clear to him and Catherine that the boys were having a hard time with just having said goodbye to their father before watching the C-130 take off for a war zone. It was all completely understandable and, seeing how the boys were now, at the ages of eleven and sixteen, with numerous other deployments under their belts, it allowed Steve to realize with even more clarity how hard all of his deployments and missions must have been on Alex. He always sensed it had been hard on her – what military child didn't have a hard time with their parent being deployed? – but he, like Jason was now, had always been on the plane, never having to see the anguish and fear on his daughter's face.

He parked the truck in the driveway and Sam was the first one out, hurrying quickly up the walkway. He had the front door unlocked before the rest of them had barely even stepped onto the pavement. Steve and Catherine followed the two teenagers inside the home and then closed the door behind them. Josh proceeded up the stairs while Alex stayed downstairs, taking a seat on the sofa as she was joined by her parents. From their spot in the living room they could hear the boys moving around upstairs.

Josh finally came back downstairs, carrying a gym bag in one hand and a book in the other. He looked at the McGarrett's and said, "You might have to go up there at some point and get him. You know how he is with time management." At that moment they heard a crash coming from upstairs; Steve and Catherine hurried up the stairs to check on Sam. Josh set his stuff down on the coffee table and then sat down in the recliner.

"You okay?" Alex finally asked him.

Josh opened his eyes and looked at her. "I'm fine." Ha, who was he kidding? He could never lie to her. He shook his head. "Not really." She reached over and took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. This was one of those times when she didn't really know what to say to him. He expelled a breath. "Remember when I told you that this deployment feels different? That it has me really freaked out?"

She nodded. "I remember."

"It still does," he admitted. "I have this feeling that something really bad is going to happen." He looked at her again. "It makes me sick sometimes. Other times it keeps me up all night. I just… I don't know how to deal with it."

"You could try talking to my Dad about it," she suggested. "Or Catherine if you prefer since she was a military kid, too."

"Maybe." Josh didn't sound entirely convinced.

"Tell you what," Alex said, giving him a smile. "If it keeps you awake some nights, then get me and I'll stay up with you."

Josh grinned quickly before turning serious again. "That will get us in trouble with your Dad."

Alex shrugged. "Wouldn't be the first time and won't be the last."

"What won't be the last?" Steve asked, startling both teens as he came down the last two steps and stepped into the living room.

"Uh," Alex said, scrambling for something to tell him. Grinning at him, she replied, "Our date this Friday night. There will be _lots_ more."

"We'll see about that," he muttered, frowning at her statement. Just because he had given Josh permission to date Alex it didn't mean he was okay with them going on '_lots'_ of dates. Especially if they were alone on said dates. "Your brother and Catherine should be down soon." He nodded his head towards Josh's bag. "Have everything?"

"Yes, Sir." They could hear Sam and Catherine coming down the stairs.

"Alright," Steve said, picking up Josh's bag for him and taking Sam's from Catherine as they joined them in the living room. "What do you say we head to our house and get you both situated?"

* * *

**A/N: And that's it for Chapter 1. I have several ideas for upcoming chapters based on the first four episodes of season four. For those of you who have seen those four episodes, is there anything you would be interested in reading about that is based on those episodes? Anything you hope to see in this part of the story? As always, Mahalo for reading! Looking forward to your feedback!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to Angel for the suggestion of where part of Josh and Alex's date should take place. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and/or followed/favorited this story. I hope to get reviews from all of you at one point ;) **

**Warning: Reference to sex and nudity. Also contains spoilers for episode 4.02.**

* * *

The Sullivan boys had moved in three days ago, on Tuesday, and things were going well. The office had been converted into a small space for the boys, where they could store their clothes, shoes, school supplies, and other items, including Sam's baseball equipment and Legos – the kid had a knack and love for building things – and Josh's guitar and football gear. The downstairs bathroom was now designated as theirs and they had the responsibility of ensuring it remained clean and tidy, with a full cleaning required every week. At night the living room became their bedroom and every morning they had to make sure their blankets were folded nicely and any other items of theirs picked up and put away. They helped Alex with her evening chores – clearing the table and washing the dishes – every night and would get additional duties – taking out the trash, helping mow the lawn, and other household cleaning tasks – tomorrow morning when they all sat down with a calendar to ensure everyone's schedules were recorded in one place. They would also discuss how everyone could pitch in to keep the house clean and running smoothly.

The biggest challenge at this point was making sure everyone got to where they needed to be on time. Sam's school, despite having the same start time, was not located anywhere near the teenagers' school which had already proven to be a bit of a logistical nightmare. Thankfully, there were only three weeks left in the school year. The second challenge was the sudden lack of privacy for everyone and already, on two occasions, tempers had gotten a little hot. In addition, apart from a very brief phone call on Wednesday when he was in Europe waiting for a connecting flight, the boys had not heard from their father who should have landed in Kabul yesterday. Even though Jason had told them that it would take awhile for him to get situated and be able to call, both of the boys were experiencing moments of anxiety and were simply struggling with the sudden change in their lives. For Steve and Catherine, this all served as a quick introduction to what life was like for parents of multiple children. As for how Alex was adjusting, no one really knew for sure as neither Steve nor Catherine had had a chance to ask and she had yet to volunteer that information. With Sam's baseball game and the meeting about chores and schedules the only two items on their agenda for tomorrow, Steve and Catherine intended on making it a point to spend time with each of the three children, one-on-one, to gauge how each one was dealing with everything.

But first Steve had to survive his daughter's first date night.

When he had returned to the house a few minutes ago after dropping Sam off at a friend's house for the evening, he had heard Josh and Catherine chatting in the kitchen. Curious, he had headed there, finding the two of them loading food into a picnic basket. Josh was dressed casually but still looked nice in his khaki shorts and teal polo shirt. Learning for the first time that Josh's date night plans included a picnic on the beach behind the house – the original plan, or so Steve had thought, was to go to a restaurant near the theater – before going to see _The Great Gatsby_ at the movies, he had actually been pretty impressed by the thought that Josh had put into their date. Not only had he and Catherine prepared a meal – a Greek pasta salad, fruit salad, and homemade miniature cherry pies – after school while Alex had been with her NJROTC class prepping for their upcoming end-of-year fitness test but Josh had also apparently picked a bouquet of flowers, tied together with a pink ribbon, from the garden located around the side of the house.

The three of them were in the living room when Alex came down the stairs, freshly showered with her hair dried straight and wearing a clean set of clothes. Steve saw that Catherine had been right about Alex's new shirt: the blue floral print scoop neck blouse really did bring out Alex's eyes. Apparently Josh approved of the shirt, too, considering the amount of time he spent staring at her as she walked down the stairs. The boy finally snapped out of it when Steve cleared his throat.

"You are so beautiful," Josh complimented, oblivious to Steve's discomfort at the way he had stared at Alex as she had come down the stairs.

"Thanks," Alex replied, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks at his intense gaze. "You…" she trailed off, ignoring the urge to compliment him on how hot she thought he looked and only because her dad was watching them from his and Catherine's spots on the recliner. "I like that color on you," she complimented, figuring that was a safe enough comment. The green hue of his shirt really accentuated the color of his eyes and it contrasted nicely with his suntanned skin.

"Thanks," Josh replied, flashing another smile. Alex moved towards the door to slide her bare feet into a pair of flip flops. "You don't need them," he told her, gesturing towards his own bare feet.

"Why are we barefoot?"

Josh grinned and offered her his hand. "We don't need shoes where we're going."

* * *

"These are for you," Josh said, picking up the bouquet of flowers from the table on the lanai and handing them to Alex.

"They're beautiful," Alex commented, sniffing and getting a whiff of the lovely floral scent. A smile appeared on her face and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss Josh softly on the lips. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he returned, smiling at her. He gently tugged on her hand when she turned to head back inside the house. He gestured towards the vase, which was already filled with water, on the table.

"You've thought of everything, haven't you?" Alex observed, stepping towards the table and placing the flowers into the vase.

"I hope so," he admitted. He picked the blanket up from one of the chairs, revealing the picnic basket underneath, and enjoying the way Alex's face lit up at the realization of what he had planned for their date. He handed Alex the vase of flowers, suggesting that she should bring it with them, and then he picked up the picnic basket. "C'mon," he said, offering her his arm as they headed into the backyard directly for the beach. Reaching the sand, he set the basket down and then laid out the blanket, taking the vase from her and setting it in place as she sat down on the blanket. Dropping to his knees, he opened the basket, setting out two plates and complimentary utensils, before pulling three Tupperware containers, each containing a different food item, out and setting them on the blanket. The last items he pulled out of the basket were two bottles of water. He moved the picnic basket off to the side and then carefully removed the lids of each Tupperware container, showing Alex their meal for the evening.

"You made all this?"

Josh nodded, blushing a little at how impressed Alex sounded. It wasn't like he had done anything that special. He just remembered everything she had ever said to him. It had been easy to come up with an idea for their date, all he had had to do was pick some of her favorite things – the beach, picnics, certain home made foods – and combine them. He shrugged. "I mean, your Mom helped me make everything this afternoon but, yeah, it's all home made." Picking up the forks, he handed one to Alex. "You first."

Alex flashed him an approving smile, taking the fork from him before filling up her plate. As he started filling his up, she maneuvered herself so she was seated cross-legged next to him, even closer than before, her knee touching his thigh. Balancing the plate on her legs, she began to eat, impressed that he had followed each of her recipes down to the letter. It wasn't that she was opposed to someone deviating from a recipe to create a new twist on an old classic but she knew from experience that Josh had a tendency to deviate from nearly every recipe… and it didn't always turn out for the best.

"Taste okay?"

She swallowed the mouthful she had been chewing and then smiled at him. "Tastes great." She kissed him on the cheek, which he quickly turned into a much deeper kiss by gently placing a hand under her chin and directing her mouth to his.

* * *

"What do you think you're doing?" Catherine asked as she wrapped her arms around Steve's midsection from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder. She knew exactly what he was doing – spying on the teens' date. As soon as they had headed into the backyard, Steve had gotten up from the couch and headed into the dining room, stopping at the doors to the lanai and staring out through the glass.

"Why do they have to kiss?"

Catherine choked back a laugh at the disgruntled expression on his face. He could be so irrational sometimes when it came to his daughter. "Because they are sixteen and they're dating."

Steve sighed. "I gave them permission to have dinner and go to a movie tonight. I did _not_ give them permission to kiss."

"Babe," Catherine said, stepping around him and turning to face him. "No teenager in the history of the world has ever asked for permission to kiss their boyfriend or girlfriend."

"Alex isn't like every teenager in the world," Steve argued. "She's –"

"A sixteen year old girl who is enjoying her first date with a boy that she likes," Catherine interrupted, wrapping her arms around his neck. Shaking her head, she gently scolded, "You better not be intending to stand here and spy on them for the rest of the night."

He frowned at her. "Someone needs to make sure they don't get too… handsy… with each other."

"Just be quiet for a minute, will you?" He was silent for all of five seconds before he opened his mouth to speak again. She covered his mouth with one of her fingers. "Just listen and tell me what you hear."

"Nothing," he finally said after begrudgingly obliging to her request for a full minute. "I hear nothing." Even the dog wasn't making any noise as he lay on the floor near their feet, looking out through the glass of the lanai doors.

"Exactly," Catherine replied, a sly smile appearing on her face. "It's quiet and we're alone. We haven't been alone in quite awhile."

His eyebrows raised in interest. "How much time do we have?"

"Another hour and a half until we have to take them to the movie."

* * *

"Can we kick them out of the house every night for a couple of hours?" Steve asked as he ran his fingers along the sweaty skin of Catherine's back. He was laying on his back, still slightly short of breath, his skin glistening with sweat, and a satiated smile on his face as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Maybe," Catherine replied, giving into a satisfied sigh as her fingers traced circles around his left nipple. She was naked, too, with her head resting on his chest and, with their bedroom door closed, they had not bothered to pull the sheet up to cover them. The smile on her face slowly turned to a concerned frown as she thought about how different making love to him had felt tonight. It had been their first time since her kidnapping and, while as satisfying as always, Steve's movements, from the way he had kissed her to the way his fingers had danced across her skin to his thrusts, had all been different, desperate almost.

She lifted her head and moved it to the pillow so she could look at him. He had his eyes closed and the steady rise and fall of his chest told her that his breathing had returned to normal. The yellowing bruises on his rib cage and chest served as reminders of everything that had happened on Monday. They made her wonder if maybe the desperation in his love making had been due to him not having recovered from her kidnapping. They had yet to really talk about it, even though she had tried on multiple occasions, because of everything that had occurred since then. Caring for three kids who had busy schedules, not to mention their own schedules, had made it difficult to find the time to talk. Of course, the night that they should have talked about it – Monday night – had been spent making sure Alex was okay after her breakdown in the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" Catherine's eyes drifted upward, from one of the bruises to his face, only to discover that his eyes were still closed. "C'mon, Cath, I know something is bothering you." He opened his eyes and turned his head to look at her. "I'd ask if the sex wasn't satisfying but I heard what you moaned so I know better."

"No, it was great," she needlessly assured him. "Just different."

That piqued his interest. He rolled over, lying on his side to face her. "What do you mean?"

She didn't reply right away as she searched his eyes for confirmation of her suspicions. She reached a hand up and stroked her thumb along the stubble on his jaw line. "I'm okay, Steve. I know you were scared but I'm okay." Steve squeezed his eyes closed and expelled a breath; Catherine knew her assumption had been right. She didn't say anything, giving him the time he needed to gather his thoughts and to deal with the emotions he was obviously experiencing again. She just caressed his cheek, reminding him that she was there, safe and out of harm's way.

"It reminded me of my Dad," he finally told her. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Of that last conversation I had with him." He brought his hand up and gently stroked over the yellowing bruise on her face. "When he hit you…" he swallowed hard, "I heard the gunshot all over again. I thought… I thought I lost you just like I lost him."

"Steve, I'm –"

"I can't lose you," he told her, pulling her close and holding her tightly. "Alex can't lose you."

* * *

They had spent nearly an hour talking that night. Steve had finally verbalized all of the emotions he had experienced that day – fear, desperation, heartache, that feeling of knowing he would be absolutely lost without her – and had expressed frustration that within sixteen hours of taking their vows they had been forced to face something so dramatic. He had stated that he really hoped it wasn't a sign of things to come – shouldn't this be the honeymoon phase of their marriage? – and that they wouldn't be faced with one threat after another. Steve had then expressed his concerns about his daughter, not only about her anxiety and fear of losing Catherine, but also about the deep and profound pain she was still feeling about her mother's murder. It wasn't easy to lose a parent, especially to violence and especially at such a young age, and it just about killed him to know that his daughter had to live with that pain every single day. It had been something he had hoped she would never have to deal with, not for many, many years and never as a result of violence, and, having already faced it once, he hoped that she would never face it again.

They had gotten dressed and been back downstairs barely five minutes before the two teens had returned to the house. The smile on both of their faces spoke volumes about how well the dinner portion of their date had gone. They had then locked up the house and loaded into the truck, headed for the movie theater, where, after letting the teens off at the curb, Steve had instructed Catherine to keep her eyes out for an open parking space in the crowded lot. Learning that he had every intention of buying tickets to the same movie that the kids would be seeing, they had gotten into a mini-argument which she could safely say that she had won after convincing him that spying on his daughter was a bad idea especially when they could use that time to enjoy a romantic dinner together. After dinner at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, they had headed back to the theater to pick up the teens – Steve immediately had started asking for a full synopsis of the film – his way of figuring out if they had actually _watched_ the movie – before heading to Hawaii Kai Drive to pick up Sam from a friend's house. Then they had headed home where everyone had been in bed at a decent hour in order to be well rested for Sam's game.

The following morning, they had all attended the Pee Wee baseball game. With Sam and Grace on the same team, with Danny as their coach and Steve standing in for Jason as an assistant coach, the car ride to the game had been full of friendly trash talking – Sam, Steve, and Josh had all picked on Catherine for being one of the coaches of the opposing Navy Brat team. Alex, on the other hand, declared that she was Swiss for the day, taking a neutral stance because, although she felt a special bond with the Navy kids and would like to see them do well, she also really wanted to see Sam and Grace do well. When they arrived, the teens had headed straight for the bleachers, staking out a seat on the bottom tier directly behind home plate, while everyone else headed for their respective dugouts. At one point during the game, Grace had been called out on strikes and, upset about what he thought had been a terrible call, Steve had gotten in Kamekona's face, arguing about the call and putting on a display of very unsportsmanlike conduct. His antics eventually got him ejected from the game; Danny soon followed suit. Their ejections had actually been perfectly timed as they had been called to a case before they had even had a chance to leave the field.

Later that day, after dropping the kids back at the house to work on their schoolwork and complete some chores, Catherine headed to HQ to check on Steve's team and, knowing they had often worked through lunch, missing out on the meal, to see if they needed her to pick up lunch for them. She had made small talk with Chin and Danny for a few minutes and then Steve had asked to talk to her in his office. Concerned due to something in his tone of voice, she asked, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," he replied, closing his office door behind them. "Everything's fine."

Thinking about the phone call she had received during the drive here, she commented, "I heard Billy stopped by."

"Billy did stop by," Steve confirmed. "About that…"

"Yeah, listen," Catherine said, knowing what he was referring to, "The only reason I didn't say anything to you about leaving the Navy was because I wasn't sure." She gave into a slight shrug of her shoulders. "And it's a decision I needed to make on my own."

"On your own," Steve echoed with a hint of hurt in his tone. "And with Billy."

"No," Catherine corrected, quickly realizing how the news that Billy had shared with him must have made him feel. "Listen, my CO told him that I was _thinking_ about resigning my commission. I haven't even submitted my letter yet."

"So you're actually serious about this?"

Catherine nodded. "I've spent half my life in the Navy, Steve. It's like I need to start thinking about what's next." She gestured towards the family photo on Steve's desk. "I need to think about what's best for us." She picked up the second picture frame on his desk, a solo shot of Alex from probably well over a year ago. "For Alex." She looked at Steve again as she set the frame back down. "The stability of me being home every night, not having to worry about getting last minute orders dropped for a deployment, would be great for her. It would be great for our marriage."

He couldn't argue with anything she had just pointed out. Having her home every night and waking up to her every morning would be amazing; it had been something he had longed for even before he had told her he loved her. Her being home every day would give them a chance to really experience married life, without the threat of long deployments and long-distance phone calls. Not to mention that Alex could certainly benefit from having Catherine around all of the time, especially since she was still dealing with the anxiety of almost having lost her. It would be good for his, their,daughter to finally have a real, loving family to come home to every day; Alex didn't really have any memories of when both Cindy and he had been home with her. Yes, Catherine had made several really good points. Yet that didn't explain why she had turned down Billy Harrington's job offer to work at his new private security firm. "Alright so why would you turn down the job with Billy?"

"Not right for me," she replied, knowing that there was more to it than that.

Even Steve didn't buy that. "Catherine, it's tailor made for you; recon and surveillance, risk assessment, protection services. Please." Maybe Billy had been right when he had expressed his belief that Catherine was afraid that working with him – Billy and Catherine had dated years ago, well before she and Steve had become involved with each other – would affect her relationship with him. He and Catherine were married now and he knew her well enough to know that she would never cheat on him. What was she so worried about? "Why would you say no?"

"Because I'm really happy right now," she answered. "I mean, things are good between us. We just got married and I don't want a job, even if it's the perfect job, to get in the way of that." _Plus, what if we decide to get pregnant? I would have to walk away from the job anyway._

Steve opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted when Chin opened the door. "Steve, HPD just found Maki's limo parked outside a house."

"Excuse me," Steve told Catherine before turning around to face Chin. "Okay, tell HPD to secure the perimeter and we'll head that way."

"I'm on it," Chin replied, stepping out of the office and letting the door close behind him.

Steve turned back around to face his wife. "I'm sorry." He was quiet for a few moments as he considered what to say to her. She needed to know that he supported her decision to leave the Navy. "I'm gonna miss seeing you in those camis." They shared a smile and then, kissing her on the cheek, he said, "I gotta go. I'll let you know when I'm on my way home."

* * *

Steve had arrived home late, sometime well after midnight, after helping a father find his missing daughter, the last piece of their case that needed to be resolved. He had been careful to not wake up the boys as he had entered the house and headed upstairs. He had bypassed his bedroom, heading for his daughter's room instead, and, after watching Alex sleep for several minutes, his anxiety had eased enough for his mind and body to relax and he had joined Catherine in bed. Alex had woken him up at five, antsy and anxious for some reason, and asked him to go for a run. An hour and seven miles later, they and Anchor had returned to the house, finding Catherine and the boys in the kitchen making breakfast. While Alex had taken care of feeding Anchor, he had headed upstairs for a Navy shower and, when he rejoined them in the kitchen, a steaming cup of coffee had been waiting for him, courtesy of his daughter. While they had all chowed down on scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit salad, Sam had chatted excitedly about the Pee Wee Baseball Championship game scheduled for later that morning. His and Grace's team had lost yesterday, leaving the series tied, and today's game would be the tie-breaker with the winner taking home the championship trophy and bragging rights.

After the rest of the household had showered and changed, and after Steve had yelled at the teenagers for trying to sneak a kiss in the kitchen when they should have been doing the dishes, they had left the house and headed for the game. Sam had played remarkably well the entire game, striking out seven and hitting a solo homerun over the right field fence in the third, and Steve knew how proud Jason would be when he finally was able to call and speak to his sons. As the teams took the field for the last half of the sixth inning, with the game tied, Steve stole a glance at the bleachers, pleased to know that Josh and Alex were still sitting there, in close proximity to Chin and Duke, instead of sneaking away and giving him cause for a heart attack. As he turned his attention back to the game, specifically to Grace who was up to bat for the Shrimps, he supposed he was fortunate that his daughter and Josh weren't one of those teenage couples who made out all of the time, like the ones he saw at the mall every time he was there. Or like the way he and Cindy had been during the early days of their relationship.

"Danno what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to go have fun," Danny told his daughter, tapping her lovingly on top of her helmet. "Do whatever feels right, alright? Keep your eye on the ball and have fun."

"Listen to your Dad, alright," Steve told the girl as she walked towards home plate. He headed out to the third base coaches' box, slightly bumping his wife as he walked past her. "Excuse me," he said, as he walked past her, stopping a few feet away from her. "Alright Shrimps, let's go!" Grace swung and missed the first pitch and, as Danny took a moment to talk to his daughter, Steve took the opportunity to talk to Catherine. "Take the job."

"Steve, I'm not –"

"No, no, listen to me," he interrupted her, his gaze no longer on the game. He knew she would need a job after leaving the Navy and the job at Billy's firm was perfect for her. He also knew that she wouldn't take it without his blessing, without his reassurance that the job wouldn't affect their marriage. "Hey," he said when she looked at him. "We're good. Our marriage is good. Nothing's going to change that. Take the job."

Catherine waited a few moments, letting his words sink in, and then her face broke into a smile. She jogged over to him and hugged him, her arms wrapped around his neck. He held her up against him, her feet not touching the ground, and they began to kiss. Neither of them noticed when Kamekona called a time out, shaking his head at the display of affection that was serving as a distraction for everyone at the game.

"No kissing in baseball, Steve!" Danny yelled, capturing Steve and Catherine's attention.

They stopped kissing and, with their arms still around each other, they looked around at the field, realizing that the game had been paused because of them. "Sorry!"

Kamekona shook his head once more and then restarted the game, dropping his umpire's mask into place on his face. "Let's play ball."

Grace, who had been standing at the fence talking to Josh, stepped up to the plate. The pitcher threw the ball and Grace swung the bat. Connecting with the ball, the crowd erupted into cheers as they watched the ball soar over the fence in center field. Sam was the first team member to greet Grace at home plate, throwing his arms around her in a celebratory hug. Kamekona's Shrimps had won the Championship game.

* * *

"I think you both just scarred me for life," Alex commented as Sam's excitement wore down and he finally stopped chatting about the game. "That was completely embarrassing."

Steve and Catherine shared a look. "We're sorry," Catherine told her, turning around in her seat to look at her. "Your dad told me something that made me happy and we got carried away."

"Guess that means it's okay for Josh and me to get 'carried away' in public when he says something to make me happy," Alex returned as she gave into a smirk. It wasn't that she was angry about what had happened – it was nice to have two parents who actually loved each other as opposed to parents who did nothing but fight – but it still had been really embarrassing to watch them kiss in front of everyone. She had a feeling that their public make-out session might end up shared with her entire school thanks to two of her school peers who had been in attendance, two girls who _loved_ to gossip and who believed that embarrassing others was the whole purpose of their existence.

A slight jerk of the vehicle, accompanied by the white knuckles on her dad's fingers as he gripped the steering wheel, told her that her comment had successfully served its purpose. The laser death stare that her Dad gave her in the rearview mirror only caused her to smirk again. "If you ever," Steve said, turning around as he stopped at a stoplight. "If I ever catch you," he continued, gazing at Josh intensely before returning his attention to his daughter. "Making out in public you will be grounded for life." He looked at Josh again. "Do you understand me?"

"Don't look at me, Sir," Josh replied, letting go of Alex's hand. Knowing Alex had only said what she had to get under her dad's skin, he didn't want any part in this. "Alex is the one who said it."

"Hey," Alex exclaimed, glaring mildly at him. "Traitor," she mumbled.

"Alexandra," Steve said, getting his daughter's attention. "I asked you a question."

Alex reclaimed Josh's hand, bringing their joined hands to rest in her lap, directly in her dad's line of sight. "Sure, Dad," she said, giving into a sweet smile that was anything but, "We'll just make sure you never catch us."

"Alex –"

"Steve," Catherine said, resting her hand on his thigh. "The light."

No one said anything for the last ten minutes of their drive, although Steve and Alex did have a conversation just with their eyes in the rearview mirror. When they arrived at Eggs N' Things, Josh and Sam were quick to get out of the truck, leaving Alex, who had been sitting in the middle of the backseat, to deal with her father's intense glare.

"You two going to behave at lunch?" Catherine asked them, looking at both of them like they were acting absolutely ridiculously. "Do I need to make sure you two sit on opposite ends of the table?"

"Why do you do that to me?" Steve asked his daughter, ignoring Catherine's questions. He knew that Alex made most of her comments about kissing Josh because she knew how much it bothered him. Still, knowing that never made it any easier for him to hear. He would rather just continue pretending that his daughter wasn't old enough to be kissing a boy.

"Why do you let me do it to you?"

"I…" Steve trailed off, giving into a sigh and looking at Catherine for help on this matter.

"What made you so happy anyway?" Alex asked, referring to Catherine's comment from earlier.

"Well," Catherine started, sharing a look with Steve. "Your Dad gave me his permission to take a new job."

"New job?" Alex asked, confusion plastered on her face. "And I thought you didn't need Dad's permission to do anything."

"She doesn't," Steve confirmed, turning more in his seat so he could face his daughter better. "One of the SEALs I once served with offered Mom a job for when she gets out of the Navy and she wasn't sure if she should take it or not."

"So you are for sure getting out?" Her mom had told her about it briefly last night while they had been making dinner.

Catherine nodded. "I'm submitting my letter this week but it probably won't go into effect until August."

"Oh." Alex glanced at her dad and then back to Catherine. "Why weren't you sure you should take the job?"

Catherine glanced at Steve, who nodded, agreeing that it was something Alex was privy to know. "Billy and I used to date."

"Hmm," Alex said, mulling it over in her head. "Does he know that you're married now?"

Catherine nodded. "Yes."

"Okay," Alex returned. "Seems a little weird but I guess if Dad's okay with it." Her gaze drifted outside, to where the open door showed that Danny was pulling up in his new car. "Uncle Danny and Grace are here."

They all got out of the car, joining Sam and Josh on the sidewalk in front of the truck. As soon as Grace got out of her father's car, she spotted them, running towards them, straight for Josh, hugging him. "I did it, Josh! Did you see?" She had wanted to thank him earlier, right after she had hit the homerun, but he had been helping Kamekona with a few things after the game.

Josh laughed at her excitement. "I saw, Grace. You did great. You remembered everything I showed you."

"What are you two talking about?" Danny asked, joining the group.

"My homerun, Danno," Grace told him. "Yesterday, when I was at Alex's, Josh worked on my batting with me. I did everything he showed me and I hit the homerun."

* * *

**A/N: Well, that's it for this chapter. I know that the show had Catherine's retirement ceremony only one episode after her announcement that she was going to resign her commission. However, termination of active duty service never is cleared that quickly. Therefore, as mentioned in this chapter, I am putting a three month time frame between episode 4.02 and 4.03 to make it more realistic. That said, the next chapter (or two, or three) will not have spoilers for any episodes. Instead, they will focus on the end of school year, Alex's visit to L.A., her week at the STEM program at the Naval Academy, a trip to Seattle, and other summer events. **

**As always, please leave a review on your way out. Mahalo!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who left a review on the last chapter. Thank you also to those readers who added this to their alerts/favorites. There are so many new readers to this story and so many views… consider dropping me a review, letting me know what you like/don't like about the story. **

**I stumbled across this quote the other day and I think it expresses my thoughts so very clear: ****"I think when a reader reads a whole book - which takes six to ten hours - that's kind of a gift to the author. The gift of close, undivided attention. To who else do we listen so closely for eight straight hours? And when readers give that gift to me, I'm grateful for it. A piece of writing has to seduce the reader, it has to suspend disbelief and earn the reader's trust."****  
****— Po Bronson**

**From the bottom of my heart… thank you, dear readers. **

**That said, here's a chapter full of all kinds of father/daughter goodness : ) **

* * *

Arriving home from the celebratory lunch for Sam and Grace's baseball team, the three kids and Catherine had headed into the house while Steve had to drop back to check the fluid levels in his truck after the light on his panel had come on. Closing the hood of his truck, he walked through the yard towards the house and, as he reached the front stoop, his cell phone started to ring. Stopping in place, he pulled the phone out of his pocket. He hoped they hadn't caught another case because he could really use a relaxing afternoon and evening at home with his wife, daughter, and the two boys they had taken into the house temporarily. He glanced at the number on the screen, only to find that it was unknown. "McGarrett."

"Steve, it's Jason."

"Good to hear from you," Steve greeted, stepping into the house and seeing that no one was in sight. Closing the door behind him, he continued, "We just got home. Let me get your boys." Covering the mouthpiece of the phone, Steve shouted. "Josh! Sam! Your dad is on the phone." It sounded like a stampede as Sam, shirtless and pulling his baseball pants back on over his bare legs, came running out of the downstairs bathroom – Steve could hear the shower running – and as Josh rushed downstairs from the upstairs bathroom. Steve handed the phone over to the boys and, learning from Josh that Alex and Catherine were in the backyard with Anchor, he stepped into the bathroom and shut off the water before he headed outside, leaving the boys to have a private conversation with their father. As he closed the lanai doors behind him, he could hear Sam telling Jason all about that morning's game and it brought a smile to his face.

As he stepped onto the grass in the backyard, a memory flashed into his mind; a memory that reminded him of how heartwarming and uplifting phone calls home could be during deployments.

_They had been out here, in this desolate hell of sand, for eight days, under constant attacks from mortars and small arms fire, with next to zero sleep and their supply of MRE's had run out yesterday. None of them had seen a shower since they had stepped foot in this country; the supply of water they did have on hand needed to be conserved for hydration purposes as the brutal Iraqi heat was unrelenting. They had already suffered three fatal casualties and another two were severely injured, had been MEDEVAC'd to Baghdad and were now awaiting a flight to Landstuhl. He had taken two rounds, one to his shoulder and one to his upper arm, while providing cover as everyone had loaded onto the Blackhawks that had been sent in by the Army on a rescue mission. _

_Thankfully both bullets had been through-and-throughs, making the job easier for the doctors at the Combat Support Hospital in Baghdad. They had given him the necessary pain killers, promising sleep and relief of pain, but three hours later he was still wide awake, his senses on heightened alert and his ears still ringing from days of noise over exposure. Calculating the time difference in his head, he asked to make a phone call. His daughter had started kindergarten earlier that week and, instead of being there to drop her off at her classroom, he had been here, risking his life for her and millions of kids like her, fighting to give her a future in a world that wasn't marred with violence. God how he missed her! How badly he wanted to hold her, that little ray of sunshine who made his world better in every way possible, and to tell her he loved her. He always felt the most relaxed when he was with his little girl; her contagious laughter and bright smile always had a way of easing any stress he might be dealing with at the time. He had a feeling that if he could just hear her voice, for even just a few minutes, his body could finally succumb to the sleep that it so desperately needed. _

_He chatted briefly, amicably even, with Cindy for a few minutes before his little girl came on the line. "Daddy!" _

"_Hi, Sweetheart," he greeted in return, unable to do anything but smile at the sound of her cheery voice. "I miss you."_

"_I miss you too, Daddy. Where are you?"_

"_I'm… at work," he told her, looking around the room that contained roughly twenty beds, half of which were occupied by soldiers of every military service, with various injuries from a broken ankle to those who were in serious, yet stable, condition and waiting for the next bird out to Germany. _

"_Fighting the bad guys?" _

"_Yeah," he mumbled, desperate to change the topic. "So tell me about Kindergarten."_

"_It's fun, Daddy!" Alexandra said excitedly. "My teacher is nice and guess what Daddy." _

_The smile turned into a grin at her excitement. "What?" _

"_Alyssa's my best friend," she told him, as if he had already heard of this Alyssa. "She'll be my best friend forever and ever." _

"_I'm glad your teacher is nice and that you have a friend," he told her, stifling a yawn with his hand. "What's your favorite part of school?" _

"_Reading!" She exclaimed loudly. "I like the book corner the best and I like when we play outside. The jungle gym is the funnest." As she continued chatting, Steve couldn't help but chuckle. It had only been a few months ago when Alex had broken her arm, the result of a fall off the jungle gym, during a visit to see him in Coronado. It was good to know that the injury hadn't fazed Alex any – some kids would be afraid to climb anything after taking a fall such as she had – and that she was still the same little daredevil, as terrifying as that could be. He could only imagine the expression on Cindy's face every time their daughter mentioned her love of the jungle gym. _

He snapped back to the present, finding himself smiling at the memory. Sure enough, as memory served, that conversation with his munchkin had allowed him to relax enough that he had drifted off immediately after hanging up the phone with her. It was amazing to him that Alex still, whether she knew it or not, had the ability of easing his stress (when she wasn't the source of it) just by doing little things like breaking out into an impromptu dance move or working on the Marquis together or simply just saying 'I love you, Dad'. Even something as small as watching her sleep, knowing that she had gone to bed safe and happy and loved, brought him the peace and relaxation that he often needed to unwind from a crazy day; it was amazing the power a girl could have over her dad. He loved his kid, he was proud of her, and he couldn't be happier to have built up such a strong relationship with her.

Hearing laughter coming from the beach, he started moving through the grass again. As soon as his wife and daughter came into view, he stopped, momentarily taken aback at the sight of them. Alex stood an inch and a half taller than Catherine and her skin tone was darker but the way they stood there, next to each other and facing the beach, with their hair the exact same shade and length, even he had a hard time telling them apart. Alex had never really bore any physical resemblance to Cindy – her eyes had had more of a greenish hue to them for awhile when she was younger before they turned the exact shade of his – having taken more after the McGarrett side of the family but, even he, if he didn't know any better, could argue that Alex had a little bit of Rollins blood in her, too; their resemblance to each other at times was simply uncanny.

Listening to them chat and laugh with each other brought another smile to his face. Catherine had been so great with Alex from day one and he attributed a lot of his daughter's improvement – her improved self-confidence; her increased willingness to communicate; no longer having the fear to ask for help; her overall happiness – to Catherine's active involvement in her life. Lord knows he couldn't have done it all by himself. Of course, he would be remiss to ignore everything Alex had done for Catherine and for his relationship with Catherine. Catherine had, on multiple occasions, expressed how meeting Alex had been like a breath of fresh air. Watching a teenage girl grow up, with all the negative and positive behavior associated with that, sharing with her life lessons that she had learned when she had been a teenager, while learning oh so much about life from Alex in return, was, according to Catherine, one of the best experiences of her life. All he knew for sure was that his life was complete with both of them in it.

They were actively engaged in their conversation and he knew he could use it as an opportunity to sneak up on them. Remembering the last time he had approached his daughter from behind and unannounced, he decided against his initial thought; he did not want to spend another night holding an ice pack to his groin. "Well, good news," he announced as he continued walking towards them. "The boys are on the phone with their Dad."

"Good," Alex and Catherine expressed at the same time as they each released a sigh of relief.

"So what are you two up to?" he asked, stepping behind them and wrapping an arm around each of them. He dropped a kiss to the top of his daughter's head and then pressed his lips to Catherine's when she turned her head towards him.

"Oh, we were just swapping stories," Alex told him, a sly grin on her face as she turned to look at him.

"Uh oh," he returned, looking at both of them. "Why do I have a feeling these stories are embarrassing to me?"

"No, not embarrassing," Catherine told him, biting back a laugh. "But definitely memorable."

"What are you talking about?"

Alex laughed at the nervous expression on her dad's face. "I was telling Mom about that time I got a little Vaseline in my hair."

"A little?!" Steve exclaimed, remembering that moment as if it had just happened yesterday. "It was nearly a whole jar!" He crossed his arms and shook his head. "I actually thought I was going to have to send you home to Seattle with a shaved head. It took me four hours and I don't know how many bottles of baby powder, with you screaming the entire time might I add, to get it all out."

"See," Alex said, looking at Catherine. "I told you he was still livid about the whole thing."

"I'm not…" he trailed off in mid-protest. He reached a hand out and ran his fingers through Alex's hair. "I was never livid about it. At first it seemed like nothing I did was working and I thought you would lose your hair." He glanced at Catherine and then back at his daughter. "You were six and your hair was just as beautiful as it was now and I…" he trailed off, diverting his gaze to the ocean. "Worried and panicking, yes; livid, no." He blinked hard and then looked at them again. "You screaming bloody murder didn't help matters any."

"I wasn't screaming bloody murder," Alex clarified, the statement directed at Catherine. "The water in the tub got cold and then he was pulling on my hair and _then_ he didn't take me to see _Finding Nemo_ like he had promised."

"That's only partly true," he admitted, remembering that the tub had had to be refilled twice that afternoon because she would cry and shiver every time the water got cool and that, yes, they had been forced to miss the movie but that had been her fault, not his. "Your hair only got pulled because you wouldn't sit still." He crossed his arms in front of him again. "And, just in case you forgot, we spent the rest of that evening on the couch, eating Lucky Charms and watching _Lilo and Stitch_ over and over again."

Catherine smiled at the image of the two of them – six-year-old Alexandra, fresh out of her bath, with clean and shiny hair, and Steve, exhausted and a bit frazzled – cuddled up on the couch, watching a movie and picking all of the marshmallows out of the cereal to eat first. Knowing Steve, he had probably dozed off a few times during the movie as it had been played on repeat. And knowing Alex, the girl probably had not moved from her spot, even while her father had slept, absolutely content with being tucked against her father's side, his arm wrapped warmly and lovingly in a protective shell around her.

"This is my family," Alex stated, quoting from the movie. "I found it all on my own," she continued, looking at both of them pointedly. "Is little and broken, but still good." She smiled at her parents. "Yeah, still good."

Steve wrapped an arm around her, choosing to quote the one line from the film that had always resonated inside of him, always making him think of his brothers in arms as well as his family, the one he had been born into and the one he had created for himself. "Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten." He dropped a kiss to the top of Alex's head. "C'mon," he said, reaching for Catherine's hand and lacing his fingers with hers. "Let's go for a walk." He whistled. "Anchor, come on, boy!"

* * *

Having finally heard from their father, Josh and Sam had turned happier and more energetic, and the sound of laughter had become much more frequent in the house. The last two weeks of school had passed by quickly, with the teenagers often staying after school to study with their classmates before they would pick Sam up from a friend's house and then head to the house. Their last day of school had been a half day and, with Steve and Catherine both having taken the day off, the five of them had spent the afternoon at Happy Trails Hawaii, riding horses through the countryside of Oahu's North Shore. Afterwards, they had headed back to the house where they had enjoyed a barbecue with Danny and Grace to celebrate the end of the school year. That night, Steve had helped his daughter pack, making sure she had everything she would need for her trip to California and for STEM.

The very next morning, they had all taken Alex to the airport, putting her on a plane bound for Los Angeles. Of course, Josh and Alex had made it a point to kiss several times before she had joined the line at the security checkpoint. Then they had driven the boys to Fort Shafter where they would each be participating in a sports camp – football for Josh; baseball for Sam – sponsored by the Army's Morale, Welfare, and Recreation program. After that, he and Catherine had headed to the hardware store, where he had purchased some wood and paint for his next project, something he hoped to surprise his daughter with later that summer. After lunch they had run several more errands before heading back to Fort Shafter to pick up the boys. They had eaten dinner, with the boys cleaning up and washing the dishes afterwards, and then everyone had gone to do their own thing as they settled down for the night.

He was still working in the garage, setting up the table saw and workbench, when his phone rang. He was surprised to see it was his daughter calling as she had already called earlier that afternoon after she had landed in L.A. and had met up with Mary. "Hey, Sweetheart," he greeted, turning the speaker phone on and setting the phone on the workbench as he continued to lay out all of the tools that he would be needing for his project. "Didn't expect to hear from you again today." He glanced at his watch, giving into a slight shake of his head when he realized what time it was in California. "Especially because you should be in bed right now."

"Hi, Dad," Alex returned cheerily, ignoring his admonition. "Aunt Mary fell asleep a little bit ago but I'm wide awake and _not_ because of the time change."

"Your insomnia back?"

"No, I don't think so," she answered. "I just… guess who came to dinner with us tonight?"

"No idea. Who?"

"Your Aunt Deb," Alex reported, referring to the woman who had raised Mary after Grandpa had sent her and her father to the Mainland. "Apparently we had never met before but she did say she had met Mom."

Steve nodded even though he knew she couldn't see him. "Yeah, she was at the beach that day I met your Mom for the first time. And you're right: the two of you have never met." His Aunt had never made it out to Annapolis after he had started at the Academy and he had never traveled back to California during his breaks from school. Even when he had been attending SEAL training at Coronado, and later stationed there, he had never bothered to make the two hour drive north to visit her; he had always spent his rare free time with his daughter. "I sent her a picture of you every year though."

"Yeah, that's what she said," Alex told him. She expelled a loud breath and then her voice grew softer. "She didn't know about Mom."

Her comment hit him hard, stunning him with an almost physical pain in his heart; he now understood the real reason for his daughter's phone call. When Cindy had died, he hadn't bothered to call anybody; not his Aunt or sister, not any of their friends from Annapolis, not any of his SEAL buddies who had met her, no one. His focus had been solely on his daughter – it still was – and, with David having taken responsibility for the obituary and arrangements, he had never really thought about informing anyone else about Cindy's death. If someone asked him about Cindy – a few already had, like one of his former SEALs, Sam Hanna – he would, of course, inform them but, apart from those few inquiries, he never had freely discussed her death with anyone. Mary now knew, of course, with Alex having told her but clearly Mary had not passed that information on to their aunt. "I'm so sorry, Sweetheart," he apologized as he stopped fiddling around with the tools. "You doing okay?"

Alex hesitated before answering. "I…" she sighed. "It hasn't gotten any easier to talk about her."

"I know it hasn't," he replied, leaning back against the workbench. "One day it will though. You have to believe that."

"I think it'd be easier on me if I knew for sure who killed her."

One day he would tell her that she already knew who ultimately had been responsible for her mother's death. One day she would know the truth but today was not that day. "Knowing who is responsible doesn't always make things easier," he told her as eased gently into the reminder he needed to give her. "Grandpa, for example."

She released a sigh. "I guess you're right; it still hurts to talk about him, too."

"Yeah." He waited a long minute for her to respond and, when she didn't, he continued, "You should really try to get some sleep, Sweetheart. Knowing Mary she probably has a lot of stuff planned for you two to do."

"She does!" Alex exclaimed with newfound excitement in her voice. "We're going to Catalina Island tomorrow. We're also gonna try to go to Beverly Hills, the beach, Griffith Observatory, Marina del Rey, go on a Warner Brothers Studios Tour, the Getty Center, the Tar Pits, the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and Chinatown."

"Yep, you're going to be busy," he commented. "Go get some rest," he told her. "You're going to need it."

"Okay," Alex returned. "Is it okay if I call you tomorrow? To tell you about our day?"

Steve smiled at that. Even though it was a clear sign that Alex missed him already, it warmed his heart to know that she enjoyed talking to him every day. "Of course you can. Have fun and take lots of pictures, okay?"

"I will," she assured him. "Thanks again for giving me this trip for my birthday. I love you, Dad."

"Good night, Sweetheart. I love you, too."

* * *

Thirteen days later, Steve stood outside of Chauvenet Hall on the grounds of the Naval Academy. He and Catherine were there with the other parents of STEM students, all waiting for their children to join them after their last day of class inside the building that housed the departments of Mathematics, Physics, and Oceanography. It was a beautiful day, reminiscent of so many June days that he had spent on the campus as a midshipman, assisting with all of the summer programs for high school students to include STEM. The sounds and smells of the Yard were the same as they had been fourteen years ago on that day he had graduated top of his class. Being here brought back so many wonderful memories, memories that he hoped his own daughter would get to experience for herself one day.

They had left Hawaii early yesterday morning on a direct flight headed for Dallas. They had stayed the night in Texas, dropping Sam off with the family whom he would be spending the next three weeks with, before catching an early morning flight to Baltimore. After the extra long drive – traffic had added nearly an hour to what should have been a 34 minute drive – they still had managed to find a parking spot in the shade near the Hall. With over an hour to spare until the kids would be released from STEM, they had taken a stroll around part of the campus, sharing stories about the time they had spent on the campus and reliving it all in their minds. They had returned back to this spot on the grass, just off the red cobblestone walkway across from the building entrance minutes ago; the students should be coming outside any second now.

"Alex!" he and Catherine shouted to get her attention as soon as they spotted her in the group of teenagers who had stepped outside after the front doors of the Hall had opened. She looked for them, smiling and waving when she spotted them, before returning to the conversation she had been having with the girl next to her. She parted ways with the girl, who must have spotted her family on the other side of the walkway, and headed their way. Reaching them, she affectionately threw her arms around them.

"It's good to see you, too, Honey," Catherine responded to the words that had been muffled into Steve's chest by Alex.

"So," Steve started as his daughter took a step back. "How was it?"

"It was amazing!" Alex replied, an excited smile on her face as she recapped her week, all of which she had already told them. "We did some awesome experiments, learned how to pilot a helicopter in the Simulation Center, went to Capitol Hill and the National Air and Space Museum, built circuits, visited the biometrics lab, some robotics stuff, cyber security, constructed our own rotors, built a marble maze, and so much more." She focused her sights solely on Catherine. "We also did some cryptography stuff, too. I see why you like it so much!"

They both laughed at their daughter's excitement. "Good, I'm glad you enjoyed it," Catherine told her.

"Do we have to leave right away?" Alex asked them. "Or can we spend some more time on campus before we have to get my stuff out of my room?"

"We are in no rush," Steve told her, glancing at Catherine and knowing that their teenager was just about ready to learn the latest surprise. "Our flight doesn't leave for another two days."

"Oh." Alex sent him a curious look, catching the sly look in his eye but not bothering to ask about what he was hiding. "Where did Josh end up staying?" She had talked to her family every single day since she had left Oahu but the last time they had discussed Josh and where he would be staying while her parents took Sam to Dallas and then flew to Annapolis to get her had been on Monday. At that time, they had not come up with a solution and she doubted her Dad would have allowed him to stay home alone for the three or four days – now five, apparently – while they were gone.

"About that…" Steve started to say, letting his words linger in the air for a few seconds. He nodded his head backwards, towards a tree about twenty yards behind them.

Alex took a step to the right, looking behind him, trying to see through the crowd of families in the courtyard. Peering around one of the boys from her STEM group, that was when she saw him. Leaning casually against a tree, hands in the pockets of his right-at-the-knee khaki shorts, sunglasses dangling from the unbuttoned part of his teal polo shirt, and sporting a big smile was Josh. Alex looked up at her dad. "He came with you?"

Before he or Catherine had a chance to reply, Alex was off, hurrying through the crowd. Upon reaching Josh, she practically launched herself into his arms. Her arms were around his neck and his were around her waist, holding her up and hugging her. When they kissed, Steve grimaced. It wasn't that it was inappropriate in any way – it was a very chaste kiss in comparison to other kisses he had seen them share – it was just that her reaction to seeing Josh had contained far more excitement than had her reaction to seeing him and Catherine. "Can't believe she's happier to see him," he muttered as he wrapped an arm around Catherine.

"Seriously, Steve?" Catherine asked him, placing her palm on his chest and looking up at him. "She hasn't seen him in two weeks."

"She hasn't seen me – us – in two weeks either."

"Yeah," Catherine agreed before pointing out, "But she's barely talked to him at all." Alex hadn't really talked to anyone during that timeframe, not even her, except for one person."She called every day but really only spent that time talking to one person."

Steve smiled sheepishly at her comment. Alex and he had talked at least once every day and, if nothing else, she had always made it a point to call him before she went to bed. Their conversations had not just been brief recaps of their days but rather they had been meaningful discussions that had only served to deepen their relationship. He had to admit that he felt pretty grateful for having a kid like her. It was only now that he realized that he had monopolized a lot of Alex's time on the phone these last two nights. "I'm sorry, Babe. I –"

"Don't apologize," Catherine told him. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you two communicating so well with another."

"Steve McGarrett and Catherine Rollins." They both turned around at the sound of their names, surprised to see the person who was walking towards them. "Or is it McGarrett now?"

"Commander Harris." Catherine greeted her old Oceanography and Physics instructor. She shook her head. "No, Sir, it's still Rollins." She glanced at Steve and smiled. "For another couple of months anyway."

"Sir," Steve greeted, accepting the hand that was offered and shaking it. "I didn't realize you were still assigned here." Commander Harris had instructed several of the courses he had taken during his time at the Academy and he had also been the head of the STEM program when Steve had been volunteering during the summers.

William Harris smiled at both of them. "I retired from Active Duty a few years ago but decided to stay on as a civilian." He glanced around at the group of youngsters, some of whom he was sure would end up as Plebes here in two years, and shook his head. "Can't imagine being anywhere else." He looked back at the couple in front of him. "I did hear correctly that you got married a few weeks ago, didn't I?"

They both nodded. "Yes, Sir." Steve was interrupted by his daughter calling for him.

"Sir," Alex said, coming to a quick stop next to her dad when she realized who was standing there. "Sorry to interrupt."

"That's okay, Alexandra," William Harris told her with a fond smile.

"Is it okay if Josh and I head down to the Midshipmen's Monument with some of the other students?" she asked, pointing to the memorial to those Midshipmen who had fought and died in the Mexican War that stood about forty yards away from their current spot.

"Yes, but don't venture away from there without my permission, okay?"

"Thanks, Dad." Alex turned back to face Harris. "Sorry again, Sir."

"You did a great job with her," William Harris stated once Alex had rejoined her friends. "I really enjoyed having her in the program. We all did." He smiled at Steve. "She reminds me a lot of you: eager to learn; determined; maxes the PT test; respectful; hardworking."

"Thank you, Sir," Steve returned, grateful that Alex had been on her very best behavior. Not that he would have really expected any different. "She's come a long way from that rambunctious toddler, hasn't she?"

Harris laughed, remembering all too well the eighteen month old girl who had never been able to sit still at any family function at the Academy. As soon as she had discovered that her feet could take her places much faster than crawling had, she had walked and ran everywhere, often to the dismay of her parents. "She's a good kid, McGarrett, and I bet we'll see great things from her. I hope to see her here as a student in a couple of years."

"That's what we're all hoping for too, Sir," Catherine told him.

"Well, I should probably go mingle with the other families," Harris told them, shaking each of their hands. "It was nice to see both of you again. Congratulations on your wedding."

"Thank you, Sir." When he left, Steve turned to Catherine. "Guess we should find the kids so we can go clear out Alex's room."

"You gonna make her wait until we get to the airport in two days to tell her about Seattle?" Catherine asked him as they turned and started to walk hand in hand towards the monument. "Or you want to get the surprise out of the way now?"

"May as well tell her now." He shrugged. "Unless Josh already spilled the beans."

* * *

"How about grabbing some takeout from that Deli down the road?" Steve suggested, looking around the hotel suite at the exhausted people sitting in the room with him. He, Catherine, and Josh were exhausted from their days of traveling while Alex had already dozed off twice in the last hour as a result of the minimal sleep she had gotten while attending STEM. It hadn't been that STEM was so demanding that it directly impacted sleep patterns; rather, his daughter had participated in multiple extra-curricular activities during the week: physical training with some Midshipmen at 0500 every morning; additional physical activities in the evenings; fun nighttime activities with other STEM students; and she had also met with some of the educators after class to discuss some of the classroom topics more in depth. If anything, his kid certainly never let an opportunity pass her up – she lived each day to its fullest – but he didn't particularly like that it was often at the expense of her getting some rest.

"Takeout is a great idea, Sir," Josh answered, giving into a yawn.

"You two?" Steve asked, looking at his wife and daughter.

"Sounds great, Babe."

"Sure, Dad."

"Okay," he stated, getting to his feet. "I'll go pick up some sandwiches." He glanced at his daughter, wanting to talk to her in private about another matter. "How about you come help me?" Five minutes later, they were greeted by the evening sun as they stepped out the front doors of their hotel. Almost completely in sync, they both placed their sunglasses on their faces and continued down the sidewalk. "So," he started, wasting no time to begin the necessary conversation, "how are you doing?"

She shrugged. "Tired. Guess I probably should have slept more this week than I did."

Steve nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you probably should have." He watched her out of the corner of his eye for a few moments. "Are you okay about us going to Seattle? You've been a little… distant… since I told you."

Alex gave into a sigh. "Of course I'm okay with going to Seattle, Dad." She looked up at him. "I still miss it."

He sensed that there was more to it than that. "But?"

She expelled a breath. "I think it's going to be really hard for me to be back there. Even worse than last time."

"Okay," Steve said, appreciating her honesty. He rested a hand on her shoulder, steering her to the interior side of the sidewalk, out of the way of pedestrian foot traffic, and stopped. "Why do you think it's going to be hard on you?"

"Because it hurts," she answered. "It hurts that she's gone. Even if she didn't love me, she didn't deserve to die. She didn't deserve to be killed. She should still be in Seattle and I hate that she's not there." She swallowed the emotion in her voice. "And it makes me angry that she's not there, that she's not alive, and all I want is for the person responsible to pay for what he did."

"I know it hurts," he told her. "I know it does but I didn't know it hurt so bad that you may not enjoy being back in Seattle."

"I'm not saying it will," she corrected. "I'm saying it _might_."

"Right," he said, nodding his head. "Look, Sweetheart, if you really don't want to go, that's fine and I understand. We can reschedule our trip for another time." He was actually very concerned about the anger in her voice when she had mentioned wanting revenge on the person responsible for Cindy's death.

"No, Dad," she protested. "It's okay. If it's rough on me then so be it." She smiled then, remembering what else he had told her earlier that day. "Besides, if we don't go, I won't get to see Brian or Alyssa or their families."

"I like that you are willing to deal with it if it gets tough," he told her. "But I'm serious about this. If it's too hard on you –"

"I promise to let you know if I'm having a tough time, okay?" She gave him a reassuring smile. "Besides, it's just one more dragon to slay, right?" She started to walk again, tugging on his hand to follow her. "C'mon, Dad, I'm hungry."

* * *

**A/N: I do not know when the Academy's STEM program officially started. For the purposes of this story, it (or a version of it) existed when Steve was a student there in the mid- to late nineties although it most likely didn't start until a decade later when the big push for getting more students interested in studying science, technology, engineering, and mathematics began. **

**Also, just to clarify in case there is any confusion, Steve and Catherine did NOT pay for Josh to fly to Annapolis and then to Seattle with them. Those costs were paid by Jason. **

**Oh, could I just add that I really hope to get at least 14 reviews on this chapter! :) Thank you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who left a review on the last chapter: katydid13, sunny irish, 92, Angel, Kiwikaren, pinkphoenix1985, FicreaderT, Guest, xSamilicousx, and lafemmefantome. I appreciate all of your feedback. Thank you also to everyone who favorite and/or followed this story – I'd love to hear back from more of you!**

**This chapter details the trip to Seattle. Some things are more detailed than others for certain purposes. I did struggle with this chapter. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"I can't get rid of it."

"What?" Josh asked, still half asleep as he rubbed his eyes.

"I know everyone thinks I should let it go," Alex told him. "Everyone thinks it will make me feel better, that doing so will help me move on." She rested her head back against the wall and looked around her childhood bedroom. "But I can't. I can't sell this place."

"This is what has you up at two in the morning?" Josh asked, a look of incredulity on his face. He shook his head. They had landed in Seattle around mid-afternoon and, with two hours until Alyssa's flight landed, they had grabbed a late lunch at the airport. Once Alyssa arrived, they had all hopped on the Link light rail headed for downtown. They had disembarked at Westlake Center and then had hailed two cabs to the apartment located not far from the Olympic Sculpture Park. They had ordered pizza for dinner and, by the time they had all settled for the night, it had been close to eleven. "We should head back out to the living room and go to sleep. You can worry about this tomorrow. You can talk about this with _everyone_ then, too."

"No one told you to come looking for me," Alex snapped at him.

Josh sighed. She was right: he had not needed to take it upon himself to go check on her. Yet, as was always the case when it came to her, it been easier said than done. He had woken up at two, noticing that one of the four sleeping bags on the floor had been vacated and, when he had become cognizant enough to realize it was Alex's sleeping bag, he had tiptoed through the apartment until he found her. He glanced at her and the hurt in her eyes made the sting from her comment subside; he decided to play along, hoping the dialogue would soothe whatever was bothering her. "What makes you think everyone wants you to sell it?"

"I'm sixteen and I own prime real estate," she needlessly reminded him. "It's just sitting here, unlived in, and collecting dust." Okay, so that wasn't _exactly_ true; it had been pristine when they had entered it earlier that day. Someone – she assumed David – had been keeping up with the apartment, ensuring it was clean and well maintained; the electric and water was still being paid for by someone else, presumably David, as well. "Everyone thinks it will be easier to let her go if I let this go."

He didn't agree with her on her assessment as he had never heard anyone express the sentiment that she should sell the apartment. Yet he knew better than to state his disagreement on the topic; maybe at a later date, when she wasn't so moody, they could have a meaningful discussion about it. "Would it?"

She looked at him as if he had three heads. "Why would selling this apartment make it easier for me to accept that she was murdered?"

"Oh," Josh breathed out, the bitterness and anger in her voice taking him by surprise. "I didn't know that's what this is about," he told her. "I thought this was about how much it hurts you to be here due to all the bad memories."

"Not all memories with her are bad," she stated, glaring at him. "It hurts to be here because of the memories _and_ because she was killed. They are one and the same."

"I don't understand," he told her. "You –"

"I don't expect you to understand, Josh," she interrupted, pulling her hand away from his. "Because your Mom is still alive."

"Alex –"

She interrupted him again. "Yes, it hurts to be here because of all the memories it brings back." She wiped a hand across her eyes, brushing away the tears that brimmed on her eyelids. "What makes it even worse though is knowing that she should be here, too. If not in this apartment, at least in Seattle." She shook her head. "She didn't deserve to be killed; they had no right to kill her."

Josh decided to be brutally honest with her, reminding her of the obvious. "That's never going to change, Alex. I agree that it's not fair but nothing is ever going to change the truth about how she died." He reached over and touched her hand again. "You have to come to terms with that otherwise you're never going to heal. If you don't learn to accept it for what it is, you're never going to be able to move on."

"I'll move on when I know that her murderers paid for what they did," she told him, anger in her voice. "I'll come to terms with it when –"

His mouth gaped open slightly and he retracted his hand. He could barely recognize the girl in front of him. He shook his head at her, a look of disbelief on his face. "What has happened to you?" When she gave him a confused look, he added, "This isn't you."

"I'm right here, Josh. Of course it's me."

He shook his head. "No, it's not, Alex. The real you doesn't hold on to hate. The real you forgives people and sees the good in everyone, even people who have hurt you." He expelled a breath and locked eyes with her. "The real you doesn't seek revenge on people; you're better than that."

Alex climbed to her feet quickly. "I don't remember asking for your opinion."

"Yeah, well someone needs to give it to you. How else are you going to realize that you're becoming someone no one recognizes?"

"When did you become such an insensitive jerk?"

Josh didn't even bother to respond to that as he watched her walk towards the closed door of the room. When she opened it, he spoke up, "You want revenge on the people who killed your Mom? Then the best revenge you can have is to go on living like you always have, to prove to them that their actions won't destroy you. By becoming an angry, hateful person all you're doing is letting them win."

* * *

"Take your jacket," Steve said loudly to his daughter's retreating form. When she stormed out of the ferry door and onto the blustery viewing deck without even a second look back, he turned his attention to the three teenagers who were sitting with him and Catherine. "Okay, one of you needs to tell me what is going on and you need to tell me right now." Alex had already been awake when he had risen at five and he could tell, with a single look at her, that something was bothering her. As he had woken everyone else up – they had plans to take one of the early ferry trips across Elliot Bay to Bainbridge Island – Alex had headed to the master bath in Cindy's old bedroom to shower. It had taken Catherine, who had finally decided to just walk into the bathroom after thirty minutes, to get Alex to finish up so he and Catherine could use that shower, too, while the other three teenagers had taken turns using the shower in the guest bathroom. Even after that, Alex had not been very talkative. His patience with her had finally wore out when she had, just moments ago, rudely stormed away from the group as he had been talking to them.

"I don't know, Mr. McGarrett," Alyssa answered honestly. "I tried to ask her about it earlier and all she would say is that she promised to be in a better mood by the time we get to Bainbridge."

"Same here, Sir," Brian chimed in. Shrugging, he continued, "As it is, I barely saw her this morning before we left her apartment." He and Alyssa had slept over at Alex's apartment last night, camping out on the living room floor with Josh and Alex after eating pizza and playing board games with Alex's parents. When they had all gone to bed last night everything had been fine but, upon waking early that morning, it had been evident that something had caused Alex to be in a not-so-friendly mood.

Josh sighed and got to his feet, taking Alex's lightweight jacket from Steve. "We had a fight." Ignoring the looks of inquiry on everyone's face, he mumbled, "I'll take care of it." He then turned and headed in the direction Alex had gone.

"What the hell is that about?" Steve wondered out loud. "Maybe I should –"

Catherine placed a hand on his arm, indicating that he should sit back down. "Their fight is between them. Let them try to work it out."

* * *

Josh paused at the doors, taking a moment to zip up his jacket before heading out into the early morning wind, which he knew would only feel colder thanks to the spray of the water. He also took a moment to look out at Alex, who was standing near the railing, looking out into the fog that covered the Bay. She was clearly cold – her arms were tucked into the sleeves of her t-shirt – but, knowing her, she would probably deny it if asked. He took a deep breath and pushed open the door; his body was instantly blasted by a gust of wind. It took a moment for him to steady himself against the rocking of the boat but then he headed over towards Alex. "Your dad wants you to put this on," he said, holding her jacket out to her and hoping that she would take it without pushing him overboard. It took her several long moments to take it from him, although she never even turned to look at him. He watched as she put the jacket on, zipping it all the up to her chin before sticking her hands into the pockets. "Alex, we really need to talk about last night." When she refused to say anything after several minutes, he finally gave up. "Well, maybe letter I guess," he muttered, turning to head back inside.

"You were right."

Her comment startled him. He certainly had not expected her to say something, considering she hadn't been able to look at him all morning, and he certainly had not expected for her to tell him he was right. He turned back around and he saw that she still was looking out at the water. He didn't know what to say in response. He was afraid to say anything out of fear that it would only lead to another fight or that it would cause her to return to not speaking to him. Instead, he just held his breath, hoping that he hadn't imagined hearing her three words.

"You were right," she repeated, finally turning to look at him.

"About which part?"

"All of it." She gave into a shrug. "It's not like me to be so vengeful. It's not like me to carry around hate." She bowed her head, looking down at her feet, as she continued. "It's just… I don't know. First my grandfather, then my Mom." She gave into a sniffle. "So much of my life has been marred by violence but at least with my grandfather, I know who was responsible for his death. My mom though…" she trailed off and looked back up at him. "You're right: this is turning me into someone different and I don't like the way it makes me feel inside. It's like there's this flame that's burning inside of me and…" She shrugged. "I don't know."

Josh nodded, daring to take small, slow steps towards her. "It feels like it's burning out of control, like it's going to consume you completely." He stopped two feet in front of her, unsure if she wanted him any closer than that. "Like it's destroying everything good inside of you." He gave her a smile full of understanding. "I went through that after my Mom left. I wanted someone to hurt her as much as she hurt us." He touched his fingers to a spot on his upper left arm. "That desire for revenge, that all-consuming flame of anger, is what led to me hurting myself." He took another step towards her. "I don't want you to end up like I did."

"I'm sorry I called you insensitive," she apologized sincerely. "And for being unkind. I know that you were just trying to get through to me, that you called me out on everything, because you care." She took a step towards him so that the toes of their shoes touched. Looking up, she continued, "I know that you care about me but what I don't know is why you put up with me, especially when I'm mean to you."

He reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "For some reason, I'd rather spend time with you on your worst days than be with anyone else on their best days." He gave into a chuckle. "That was cheesy, wasn't it?"

She shook her head, giving into a smile. "No, not at all. I feel the same way about you." She then wrapped her arms around him, resting her ear against his chest. She smiled when she felt his lips brush against her hairline. "Thank you for talking some sense into me." She pulled her head away from his body so she could look up at him. "Every now and then, I might need some help with letting go of the anger."

"You're welcome," he replied, smiling at her. "And you got it." He shrugged. "You've been there for me lots of times when my anger has gotten the best of me." He bent down and dropped a quick kiss to her lips. "We'll continue to help each other, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now what do you say we head back inside," Josh offered with a nod towards the interior of the ferry boat. "Before your Dad comes out here and yells at us for kissing in public."

Alex took a quick look around. "There's no one out here but us."

"True," Josh returned, nodding in agreement. "But I doubt that would matter to him."

* * *

They had spent the rest of the day on Bainbridge Island, touring the island on the bicycles they had rented from a place near the ferry dock. Their first stop had been to one of Brian's favorite places on the island, Bainbridge Crepes, for breakfast. Their choice of crepes ranged from Nutella for Brian and Josh to fresh squeezed lemon and powdered sugar for Alyssa to fresh strawberries and whipped cream for Alex and Catherine while Steve had ordered bananas and whipped cream. They then took off on their bikes, headed East towards Hawley Cove, where they had stopped briefly for some incredible wildlife viewing and picture taking along the waterfront. They had then headed back to Winslow Way, the main drag of the shopping district, where they stopped to look through a couple of shops – on a few occasions Steve and the two boys waited outside while the trio of females took their sweet time inside of a store – before they headed to the downtown area. They had taken some time to walk through the farmers market where, after their less than healthy breakfast, they had decided to purchase fresh fruits and veggies for lunch. They had then headed to Waterfront Park where, after eating lunch, they had rented some kayaks for two hours, which had allowed them to explore many of the small inlets of Eagle Harbor. Afterwards, they headed back to Winslow Way, stopping for ice cream at the Mora Ice Creamery after Steve and Alex had declared that no trip to Bainbridge was complete without a visit there.

With everyone ready to call it a day, they had dropped the bikes off at the rental place and then took the ferry back across the bay. The laughter filled trip back to Seattle continued as they joined the crowd of tourists who were walking from pier to pier along the waterfront. The walk back to the apartment took just over an hour instead of the usual twenty minutes thanks to the teens having decided to stop in the over one-hundred year old _Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe _where they examined the numerous shrunken heads as well as the numerous other novelty items and Northwest Native Art pieces for sale. With no one interested in picking up something to cook for dinner – they were all too tired to cook – they had decided to order sushi from a nearby takeout place and then watched movies on a TV that had been wheeled over from Brian's next door apartment. With his parents still out of town for a marriage retreat – he was really hoping it would help to save their marriage – and not wanting to sleep alone in his apartment, Brian had decided to camp out in the living room again with the other three teenagers while Steve and Catherine headed to Cindy's old bedroom where they had set up an air mattress for use as their bed.

The teenagers had stayed up talking for quite awhile but slowly, one by one, they each had fallen asleep. Except for Alex, that is, who remained wide awake, lying on her stomach on top of a sleeping bag, head propped on her folded arms, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the distant lights in the Bay. After she and Josh had talked that morning, everything had gone great. The day had been fun, full of exercise, fresh air and nature, as well as shopping, good food, lots of laughter, and smiles. They day had been so busy that she hadn't had time to think about her mom but now that everything was relaxed and quiet her mind had become occupied with memories and thoughts of her again.

With a quiet sigh, Alex rose to her feet and, deciding to go for a slow stroll around the apartment, she stepped around Alyssa's sleeping form and headed for the hallway. She spent a few minutes in her old bedroom, running her hand over the built-in furniture her dad and grandfather had made for her and remembering so much about how her bedroom had been a safe haven on many nights when things had been bad with her mom. She then spent some time in the guest bedroom, reflecting on all of the nights she had spent in there as a little girl, being read to by her grandfather, or, when she was older, spending hours talking to him before bed. She then passed back through the living room, headed to the second hallway, towards her mom's old office space. As she passed by what had once been her mom's bedroom, she noticed that the door was open halfway and the light was on inside. She stopped outside of the room for several seconds debating before deciding that maybe a talk with her parents would help to ease her mind just a bit. She gently rapped on the wood door and when she had been given permission to enter by her dad, she pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Her parents were sitting side-by-side on the air mattress, their backs against the wall, each with some sort of reading material in their hands, and they were both looking at her. "I, um, noticed that you were still awake too so I thought I'd just say hi."

"Hi," they both said in return.

Patting the air mattress, Catherine added, "Come sit."

"Tell us what it is that's on your mind that's keeping you awake," her dad pitched in, tossing his magazine onto the floor.

Alex joined them on the air mattress, sitting so she was facing both of them. "I can't get my mind to relax." She played with a loose thread on her shorts. "Do you think things would be easier if I sold this place?"

Steve and Catherine shared a brief look. "What do you mean by easier?" Catherine asked.

Alex shrugged. "I kind of feel like you think I should get rid of everything that reminds me of my Mom." She looked down at her legs, her voice dropping to just above a whisper as she continued, "That way I don't hurt anymore."

"That's not true," Steve told her. "I mean, of course we don't like that you are hurting so bad but we would never want you to get rid of anything that reminds you of her."

"What made you think that?" Catherine asked her. When all she got was another shrug out of the teenager, she continued, "Alex, honey, you hurt because she's gone. Getting rid of things that remind you of your mom isn't going to lessen your pain any."

"So you don't think I should sell the apartment?"

Steve and Catherine shared a look again; neither of them had any idea what had caused Alex to question them on this topic. "Maybe the question you should be asking," Steve offered, "Is if _you_ think you should sell the apartment." When his daughter remained silent, chewing on the inside of her cheek and with a look of uncertainty in her eyes, he added, "I think you should do whatever your heart is telling you to do."

Catherine nodded. "Whatever your decision is – to sell or not – we're going to support you."

"I don't want to," Alex told her. "It hurts because she should be alive. Somewhere on this planet she should still be breathing and making money, maybe even laughing. But even though it hurts to be here it also makes me feel good inside because this is where she used to be." She looked around the room. "She touched these walls; her feet touched these floors; she breathed her presence into the air. She was alive here and I feel like being here connects me to her, even if that connection wasn't that great when we lived here together." She shrugged. "Maybe that's selfish of me." She looked back at her parents. "I don't want to sell it but if you think it's what's best for me, I will."

Steve shook his head. "If you don't want to sell it, I don't think you should." This was actually one of those times when he would admit that he didn't know what was best for her. He believed that she needed to come to a decision about the apartment on her own, without anyone's influence, and only when she was fully ready to part with her childhood home, if that was what she decided to do. "I think in this case you're the only one who knows what's best for you to do."

"Really?" Alex asked with a surprised look on her face. "You're actually not gonna tell me what I should do for once? I mean, technically you could sell it without me having any say in it because I'm not eighteen."

Steve rolled his eyes at that before glaring softly at Catherine when she laughed. "I think you're old enough and responsible enough to know if you want to maintain ownership of this apartment." Plus, it wasn't like it was costing her anything to keep it. If and when she did decide to sell the property, it would more than likely set her up financially for life, unless she decided to give all of that money away, too. "I couldn't do that to you, Sweetheart. This was your home for a long time. Your mom gave it to you for a reason. I could never be the one to make that decision for you."

The teenager finally cracked a smile. "Thanks," she said with an added sigh of relief. "And thank you for letting me and Josh work things out by ourselves this morning." She smiled at them again. "It really meant a lot that you didn't get in the middle of it."

"You're welcome," both adults replied. While Catherine had never intended on meddling in the kids' disagreement – she would have gotten involved only if things hadn't been resolved – Steve probably would have gotten involved if Catherine hadn't been there with him. Looking at his daughter now, and reflecting on their day after the incident on the ferry boat, it occurred to him that Catherine had been right to let the teens work things out on their own. That moment on the boat, when he had forced himself to not follow Josh out onto the deck, had been another test in letting go and it had served as another reminder of how independent Alex had become, of how she didn't need him to solve all of her problems, and, as much as that bothered him, it had also made him very proud when he learned that she and Josh had successfully worked things out.

"Well," Alex said, getting back to her feet. "Thanks for talking. And listening." She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a yawn. "Maybe I can fall asleep now. Good night." When she reached the door, a question from her dad made her stop and turn around.

"What's going on with Alyssa and Brian?"

Alex gave into a laugh. "I don't know." She knew he was referring to a few moments throughout the day when Brian and Alyssa had been caught holding hands, whispering, and giggling together. "I didn't get a chance to ask."

* * *

They spent the following day at Alki Beach, arriving there mid-morning and staying until four in the afternoon. With Alyssa and Brian deciding to tan, Josh and Alex had joined in on a game of volleyball with some students from the University while Steve and Catherine went for a short dip in the chilly fifty-six degree water before returning promptly to the sand. Then, having missed out on it for the last two weeks, Steve and Alex went for a run together along the two-and-a-half mile boardwalk. When they had rejoined the group, all six of them had strolled to the Alki Point Lighthouse, the replica miniature Statue of Liberty, and the old two-and-a-half ton anchor that had been dredged up and secured at the former site of Luna Park. They had then spent the next few hours just relaxing in the sand, enjoying the views of Elliot Bay and the downtown skyline directly in front of them and the Olympic Mountains way off to the northwest. They had ended their day dining at the high-priced Salty's, courtesy of the Boyer's who, as a gift of appreciation for taking care of Alyssa the last three days, joined them there after coming directly from the airport. After dinner, Alyssa joined her family as they returned to their old home – their time in China had come to an end – while the rest of them took the water taxi back across the Bay before heading back to the apartment for the night.

The following day they had taken the bus to the U district, where they had met the Boyer's at the Burke Museum of Natural and Cultural History. They then had strolled through the grounds of the University of Washington, where Alyssa announced that UW was her top choice for colleges. While relaxing in one of the green spaces, Josh had ended up throwing a football around with some of the college guys. Steve, Charles, Nicholas, and Brian had finally joined in when they had needed more players for a pickup game of touch football. While they had played, the females and Mason had chatted, catching up on everything going on in each other's lives. After the football game, they headed off campus to University Way, where they explored many of the eclectic shops and bookstores. Each of them, even the picky Mason, had managed to find something to eat for lunch, thanks to the variety of restaurants, to include Japanese, Mongolian, Korean, Indian, sub sandwiches, Italian, burgers, Mexican, and even a few places that served organic, café style raw foods. Afterwards, they all had headed to the Boyer's home, where the McGarrett's, Josh, and Brian helped the family start to unpack from their two years in China.

Their fifth day in Seattle brought all of them together at the shelter, where Alex, as well as her friends and family, was able to see first-hand all of the renovations that had been made possible by her monetary donation. Yes, she had seen the pictures that Denise had sent her but seeing it all in person… well, it had been a bit overwhelming. The best news of all to Alex had been that four residents had successfully found full-time jobs after using many of the classes that had been offered to them in the new computer center and that many of the children were thriving academically thanks to the additional educational materials and homework center in the expanded children's area. It made her feel, for once in her life, that something she had done had finally made a difference in someone's life. Upon completion of their tour of the facility, they had split into teams: Josh, Steve, Charles, and Mason headed to a local grocery store to stock up on canned goods; Meredith, Brian, and Alyssa headed to the kitchen to help with lunch preparation; Catherine, Alex, and Nicholas set to work on re-shelving – it had received a fresh coat of paint two days earlier – and organizing the food pantry in the basement.

The guys had returned from the store with a couple hundred of dollars in canned goods and, after setting the bags in the hallway outside of the food pantry, they had all met back in the kitchen, helping to serve food before grabbing a tray and joining the shelter residents for lunch in the dining area. Alex had chatted with many familiar faces, introducing each one to her friends and family, and had also been introduced to several new residents thanks to Denise. After helping with the lunch cleanup in both the kitchen and dining area, the whole group had headed downstairs to stock the shelves with everything that had been purchased that morning. About halfway through that project, Alex had been pulled away by a couple of kids who wanted her to join them in the play yard that had been created with some of the money that had been left over after the renovations. That was where Josh found her an hour later.

"You're amazing, you know that?" he stated as he wrapped his arms around her from behind and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"What makes you say that?" she asked, her eyes still focused on the group of young kids playing on the playground equipment and a second group on the miniature basketball court as she relaxed back against him.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked, squeezing her affectionately. "This whole place is incredible. What you've done here is amazing."

Alex shrugged and, in typical Alex fashion, responded modestly. "All I did was provide the means for Denise to see her vision come to fruition."

He groaned into her hair. "You drive me crazy sometimes, you know that?" Resting his cheek against the side of her head, he continued, "I spoke with Denise; you went above and beyond."

"If my mom hadn't have left me the money, this never would have been possible."

"Well, I'm grateful to your Mom for leaving you the money," he told her, moving around so he was facing her. "But I still say you're amazing and I'm not the only one who thinks that way."

"Josh –"

He grinned amusingly at her. "It kills you to take a compliment, doesn't it?" He laughed at the expression on her face and then stepped forward to kiss her on the forehead. "One of my favorite things about you is your giving and caring spirit." He hugged her. "Don't ever change, okay?"

They separated when they heard something hitting the side of the building right next to them. It had been a basketball which was now bouncing away from the building. A little boy, the only one left on the basketball court, ran over and picked it up. "I'm sorry, Ms. Alex," he apologized. "I didn't mean to kick it at you."

"That's okay, Max," she told him, squatting in front of him. "Maybe I'm confused but I thought you played basketball with your hands, not your feet."

Max laughed. "You _do_ play it with your hands." He looked down at the ball and then back at her. "I got mad cuz I can't make it in the basket."

Alex looked up at Josh, knowing her shared the same thought that she did: Max was five and it was next to impossible for nearly any five year old to make a basket when the hoop was the standard NBA height of ten feet. "Go try again and maybe I can figure out a way to help you."

Max ran off, carrying the ball with him. It took him a long minute to find the perfect spot, almost directly underneath the hoop, and then to finally throw the ball, which went straight up… and straight back down. Letting the ball bounce away, Max turned and looked at her with a look of frustration on his face.

"That was a good try, Max," Josh said, leaving Alex's side and walking towards the court. "A really good try." He picked up the ball and carried it over to Max. Handing him the ball, he said, "I think you just need to be a little taller." With that, he picked the boy up, holding him high above his head which, with Josh's height and arm span, put Max pretty level with the hoop. "Go for it, buddy. Try again."

"I did it!" Max screamed excitedly a few seconds later after watching the basketball fall through the hoop. Alex cheered loudly for him, laughing when several of the other small children ran up to Josh begging for him to help them make a basket, too. The third kid had just scored a basket when they were joined by everyone else. With two other "big men", as the kids referred to Charles and Steve, arriving on the scene, pretty soon three kids at a time could try making a basket. Within fifteen minutes, the play yard was full of families who had been drawn there by the happy screams of their children. The gathering turned into a big community party, with the staff and volunteers deciding to have an impromptu barbecue for that night's meal. The McGarrett's, Boyer's, and Josh and Brian had no choice but to cancel their dinner reservations in lieu of joining in on the fun at the shelter.

* * *

After getting back to the apartment late last night, they had decided to sleep in that morning. Alex, remarkably, had slept the longest, not waking until nearly nine. With their flight scheduled to leave that evening, they had packed their bags and tidied up the apartment before heading to the Boyer's for brunch. After a good meal, the five kids had taken over the living room, the _Game of Life_ board game – Mason's new favorite game – spread out on the coffee table while the adults spent some time on the balcony engaged in quality conversation. It had been decided that the Boyer's would travel to Oahu to attend the wedding, which was scheduled for five weeks from now, with Charles and Meredith offering to watch Alex, Josh, and Sam for a few days afterwards while Steve and Catherine were on their honeymoon. After saying their goodbyes, they had loaded their bags into the Boyer's SUV and Charles drove them to SEA-TAC airport.

Their six hour flight touched down at nine-thirty p.m. local time and they made it home just before eleven. Exhausted from their travels and the time change, they had all talked in the truck on the way home that they would head straight for bed when they got home. Which they did, with Josh not even bothering to change his clothes before he collapsed on the couch, falling asleep practically the second his head hit the pillow, while the three of them had trudged up the stairs tiredly and disappearing into their rooms. It was only when Steve went back downstairs a few minutes later to double check that he had set the alarm that he realized his daughter was just standing in the doorway of her room, her bags at her feet. Stopping directly behind her, he smiled when he realized what she was staring at. "Something wrong?"

"What happened to my room?" It looked so different than it had when she had left over three weeks ago. The head of her bed was sticking out from the wall, flanked on both sides by two white bookshelves; they were joined at the tops by a long flat piece of matching wood. The foot of her bed was no longer a metal frame; in its place was a shelving unit that matched the bookshelves. It was exactly like a picture she had once seen, the only difference being that all of her things filled the shelves. Her porcelain dolls and other collectible, breakable items lined the top shelf; the shelves on the vertical units alternated between holding books and picture frames.

"Well," he said, nudging her forward with a hand on her shoulder. "I remembered that picture you showed me once on that website – Pin something or other."

She just stared at him, mouth agape. "So you made it for me? But why?"

He just shrugged. "I actually combined it with another idea I had and made some adaptations, too." He walked over to the bed, flipping on the light switch located on the wall between the two bookshelves. He grinned at the look of surprise on his daughter's face when she discovered that he had installed some recess lighting into the unit; four small light bulbs shone down onto the bed, which would serve as more than ample light for when she read before bed each night. "This too," he told her, lifting up the brand new, purple themed bed skirt to reveal another shelving unit which served as the platform for her bed; the majority of her hardback books lined the shelves. "The other side is the same."

"It's beautiful," she said, walking over and running her hand along the smooth wood.

"I noticed that you ran out of space to store your books," he commented. Every single time he stepped foot in her room, he had noticed yet another book added to the piles of that were already either stacked on the floor, window ledge, on the corner of her desk, or on top of her dresser. He had offered on several occasions to buy her an e-reader but she had steadfastly refused, telling him repeatedly about the connection she had with reading a real book. The smell; the crispness of the pages in new books; the dog-eared pages in used ones; nothing could beat a real book in her eyes. He had always been a staunch advocate for literacy and one of the things he admired most about his daughter was her innate passion for reading. She had always loved books and that was always something he would support, even if she already had enough books to open a small library. "And I also know how much you loved your last room." He shrugged. "I just thought you might like it if I –"

"I love it!" Alex interrupted, throwing her arms around him. "The comforter is beautiful, too."

"Mom helped me pick it out," he told her. "We thought it matched the color scheme in here better." Seeing her eyes dart around the room, he quickly continued, wanting to stave off a panic attack. "We put Grandpa's comforter in your closet; you can take it out whenever you need to." A relieved look instantly appeared on her face. "Well, Sweetheart, I need to get some rest." He was due back in the office bright and early tomorrow morning. Maybe earlier if they grabbed a case. "Go to bed soon, okay?"

"I will," she assured him. "Night, Dad. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Ten minutes later Alex was headed back into her bedroom after washing up and changing into her night clothes. She closed the door behind her and then spent several minutes carefully inspecting the new additions to her room. She was searching for one thing in particular, wondering if it was something that her Dad had included it on this furniture, too, or if the pieces in her old bedroom were unique in that aspect. She finally found it – an etched lotus flower, much like the one in the tattoo on his left bicep – in the upper, inside right corner of the bookshelf at the end of the bed. With further curiosity and memories of the past spurring her on, she then discovered the same symbol in the same locations on the two taller bookshelves.

She fell asleep that night with a smile on her face, pleased to know that her dad hadn't forgotten about the symbol. Maybe tomorrow she would finally learn why her Dad had not only etched the symbol into the furniture he had made for her but also why he had included it in one of his tattoo designs.

* * *

**A/N: Now that you've read this chapter, go ahead and type something into that little box below. Something… anything… then close out your browser **** Mahalo for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Brief spoilers for episode 3 and part of episode 4. Thank you to everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed the last chapter. I think many of you have been waiting for something dramatic to happen… well, here you go.**

**Any description of the location of military outposts in this chapter is purely fictional and was created based solely on a map of the region. Descriptions of troop movements and battles are also purely fictional and are not based on any known actual events. That said: I have to WARN you that parts of this chapter will not be easy to stomach. It's bloody and raw and emotional and descriptive… it's real life for thousands of military members. **

* * *

Leading by example: that had been something instilled in him from his childhood. It had been a mindset that had carried him through West Point, the lesson he had always strived to teach his boys, and the guiding principle that had brought him much success in his Army career. Your soldiers respected you more, and were more apt to follow your orders, if they knew that you would never ask more of them than you asked of yourself. Whether it was picking up trash or sleeping on the frozen ground with a rock as your pillow or running eight miles over hilly terrain wearing a ninety-pound ruck and combat boots; you never ask your soldiers to do something that you yourself would never do. That belief system, that standard that he held himself to, was why, from day one at this remote outpost, he had been going on patrols with his men.

Their FOB was the most remote outpost in existence, located in the rough mountainous terrain of northeastern Afghanistan, only a few miles from the border with Pakistan. Their location was so remote that not even a single road existed within a one-hundred and twenty mile radius; the Taliban war fighters in the area had arrived there on foot, after journeys of several weeks from their homes which had been rumored to have been in Jalalabad. The danger associated with being assigned here had been obvious from even before their feet had touched the ground; before departing Kabul they had been informed that their battalion would report to the FOB in waves, one to two companies at a time. He had been a part of the second wave and, upon descent, their transport helos had come under attack from machine gun fire. While the Apache attack helicopters – the twin helos that had escorted them here – fired back, their company sized element had put their Air Assault training to good use, quickly rappelling out of their Chinooks into the FOB.

Since then they had been under almost constant attack. Mortar bombardments greeted them every morning; the night was full of the sound of distant machine gun fire and the accompanied flash of muzzle fire. Within the first week here, they had lost three men, one fatally and two with serious injuries who had been MEDAVAC'd as quickly as possible to Kabul, all thanks to a RPG that had connected with one of their lookout towers. They had suffered two more casualties their second week; an IED during a foot patrol had cost one young kid his left foot and another, his entire right leg. Some of their days consisted of the occasional burst of small arms fire, located far enough away that it had been no cause for concern. Other days were more brutal with every single soldier lobbing grenades over the FOB walls, firing their weapons on burst, or calling in air support to light up the mountainsides surrounding their FOB.

The nights weren't any better than the days. Even the most seasoned of war veterans, who had, in the past, learned to sleep under the most austere of conditions, had a difficult time finding sleep here. The seemingly endless echoing of gunfire, the bombardments of mortars, and flares lighting up the night sky; their adrenaline was constantly pumping. Every sense was heightened to the extreme so much so that one feral cat, mistaken for an enemy fighter, had ended up resembling Swiss cheese almost instantaneously. It had taken days, perhaps even a week, before Jason's body had succumbed to sleep for the first time during this tour. Even then he was woken up several times during the night (or on some occasions, the day), for various reasons, that he was averaging three hours of sleep for every twenty-four worked. And he wasn't the only one. Some days the only saving grace they had was that dark, color of tar, coffee that the Army was known for serving; every single one of them would have iron stomachs from now on.

He was in joint command of the FOB with another Lieutenant Colonel and former West Point classmate. They both shared the same mentality about leading by example and, as a result, they both accompanied different platoons outside the wire on alternating days. They also both shared the same sentiment – as had every other commander that had come through this outpost – that this location was essentially and undeniably a death trap. If either of the two Officers had had any say during the planning phase of this outpost, they would have been able to express their concerns. Yet, here it was a decade after the fact and they both had a job to do. Regardless of their own feelings about this hell on Earth, they didn't allow their personal sentiment be expressed to their troops. Instead, it was all about esprit de corps, keeping the morale up by maintaining a positive and upbeat attitude, and vowing on a daily basis to lead by example.

It had been quiet for five days with absolutely zero movement or action from enemy forces. That, in and of itself, was a serious cause for concern. Every single soldier believed that it was the calm before the storm. As for Jason, he continuously found himself thinking that if even _one _soldier made it out of here alive it would be a miracle.

* * *

"_From the moment we started dating, a lot of people thought that all we would ever have was a casual relationship," Steve told her. "But I think we both always knew that it was more than that." His smile grew larger as he continued to speak. "It took me a long time to tell you I love you. It wasn't because I didn't love you; I've always loved you." He shrugged his shoulders. "It was because, being me, I didn't know how to say it and it was also because I was afraid you didn't feel the same way." He shook his head and gave into a sheepish smile. "But the moment I knew what we had was real, the moment I knew we felt the same about each other, was the moment I saw you interact with my daughter for the first time." He glanced to the left of Catherine, smiling at his daughter, before looking back at his wife. "You told me that day that you adored Alex and that has been made clear in every interaction you've ever had with her. You love her as if you had given birth to her and I don't think anything I do will ever repay you for that. All I can do is promise to love you for the rest of my life."_

_His silence indicated he was done; now it was her turn. "From day one a lot of people questioned what we had," she started. "But all they knew was what they saw in public. They didn't know anything about the deeply emotional level that we connected on." She smiled at him, giving into a slight chuckle. "You mentioned that day at Kaluapuhi Pond… that's the same day that I knew, with one-hundred percent certainty that I was in love with you. I mean, I loved you for a long time before then but that day, watching you and Alex together, I knew without a doubt that you both were meant to become my family. There was a void in my life that was filled when you allowed me to be involved in Alex's life and for that I thank you. I love you so much, Steve, and I promise to love and support you for the rest of our lives." _

As Alex headed down to the beach behind the house, her parents' words echoed in her head. She had never seen her dad look as happy as he had half an hour ago when he was exchanging his vows with Catherine. Granted, they had been married for about three months already but to see them express their vows and display their love for each other in front of sixty people had been really beautiful to see. Their backyard had been converted to a wedding oasis, with white chairs on either side of a white walkway, and the vows had been exchanged underneath a white lattice archway decorated in beautiful flowers. Catherine had looked absolutely gorgeous with her full-length, white, form-fitting gown that reached the ground and the ends of her hair slightly curled. Her dad had looked as handsome as ever in his dress blues. When they had taken their first dance together, they had not taken their eyes off of each other; their love for each other had never been so clear. She was so genuinely happy for them to have found someone to spend the rest of their lives with and that her dad had finally found someone who loved him in the way he had always deserved to be loved.

"There you are," she said, spotting Josh down by the water essentially straddling the property line between their part of the beach and the neighbors'. He had disappeared after her dad and Catherine's dance and she had spent the last ten minutes looking for him in the house and in the crowded backyard before heading down to the sand. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Found me," he replied, turning to give her a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"You okay?" she asked as she stopped in place next to him.

He nodded. "I felt a little nauseated all of a sudden and decided to get some air."

"Your Dad?"

He nodded again. "I… this feeling…it's getting worse." He moved his bare right food back and forth across the sand and removed his hands from his pockets. "I know you think it's crazy but –"

"I don't think it's crazy," she interrupted, reaching for his left hand and lacing their fingers together. "I believe you when you tell me that your gut instinct is that something bad is going to happen." She ran her thumb across the back of his hand. "I just really hope that your gut is wrong this time." She stepped in front of him so that she was facing him. "And I don't like how often you feel this way."

"Me either," he admitted. He expelled a shaky breath. "I wish I could just will it go away sometimes but I can't."

"What can I do to help?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck and looking up at him.

He placed his hands on her waist and smiled at her. "Distract me," he told her, before leaning down and stealing a kiss.

"Great!" Alex replied, grinning at him. "They're getting ready to play some slow songs and I think you should dance with me." When he didn't say anything, she added, "I know you're not very good at it so how about I trip over my own feet to keep people from paying attention to you?" She gave into a giggle. "The two of us looking like fools might take Danny's attention off of Sam and Grace for awhile, too." Sam and Grace had been inseparable all day, sitting close to each other during the ceremony and dancing together during every song that had been played. Danny had become more and more agitated with every passing second.

Josh laughed. "Tripping over your own feet won't be necessary," he told her, hugging her close so she wouldn't see the sly smile on his face. Releasing her, he grabbed her hand and started to lead her back towards the backyard.

* * *

"Wow," Alex exclaimed, taking a small step back from Josh once the song ended but keeping her arms around his neck. "Where did that come from?" Their dancing had been absolutely flawless with Josh not having made a single mistake.

He shrugged nonchalantly. "I knew how much you looked forward to dancing with me today." Yeah, he realized that didn't really answer her question.

"So you taught yourself to dance?" Alex asked him. "Did you watch YouTube videos or something?"

He shook his head. "I told your Dad that I didn't want to embarrass you so he helped me find a class to go to. You know that private instructor we pass all the time in Aina Haina?"

She gave him a curious look. "I thought that instructor only worked with two people at a time?"

Josh nodded embarrassingly. "Yeah well… let me just say it's easier dancing with you than it was with your dad."

Alex's mouth dropped open at that. She glanced over at her dad who was standing on the lanai with Catherine, chatting with some of their Navy buddies. She looked back at Josh. "You learned to slow dance with my Dad as your partner?"

Josh shrugged. "Your mom was busy and you were on the mainland."

"You're amazing," Alex said giving into a laugh before pulling his head down to kiss him. When they pulled away, several people were looking at them, to include her dad, Danny, Chin, Mr. Boyer, and Joe White. She rolled her eyes – it had been a very brief and chaste kiss – before kissing Josh again. She smiled at him, dropping her arms so that she could reach for his hand. "Thank you."

He returned her smile. "You're –"

"Excuse me." Josh was interrupted by Steve, who made it a point to push his way between the two teenagers. "I think it's my turn to dance with my daughter."

"That was rude," Alex pointed out as soon as Josh stepped away.

"What's rude is kissing Josh in front of everyone," Steve scolded her as they started to dance. "We've talked about this before: no inappropriate behavior or PDA."

Alex rolled her eyes. "There was nothing inappropriate about our kiss." She shrugged. "It's not like his tongue was down my throat." When his face blanched at that, she bit back a laugh. "Besides, you're partly to blame for me kissing him."

"What?" Steve asked, a look of disbelief on his face. "I am totally against you kissing Josh, or any boy for that matter, until you're at least thirty; how the heck am I responsible for…. _that_?"

Alex stopped dancing to stand in place. "You partnered with Josh for his dance lessons."

"Oh," Steve exhaled. "He told you."

Alex nodded. She kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Daddy, for helping him to make me happy."

"You're welcome, Sweetheart." He kissed her on the forehead. "I guess you're ready to dance with Josh again."

Alex's eyes flitted past him to land on Josh. "Do you remember the last time we were at a wedding?"

He nodded. "Of course I do. It was Chin and Malia's."

"Remember the advice you gave me about who I should dance with?" she asked, her eyes back on him now.

He nodded again, remembering very clearly the conversation and many dances he had shared with his daughter at Chin's wedding. "Always dance with the best man in the room because you deserve nothing but the best."

"I like dancing with Josh," she told him, watching as he struggled to hide the pained expression in his eyes. "And I think he's a good guy and I know he'll become a great man." She smiled at him. "But you're still the best man I know and I'll never pass up an opportunity to dance with you."

* * *

Her parents had gone on a five day honeymoon to French Polynesia and, even though she had not expected to talk to them at all during that time, they had each called her at least once every day to talk. During their time away she and the Sullivan boys had spent time with the Boyers as well as Catherine's parents. They had spent a day on the North Shore watching some of the best surfers in the world out on the water, exploring Waimea Valley, and getting rainbow shaved ice in Haleiwa. They had spent a different day on the Windward Coast, visiting the Valley of the Temples and Kailua Beach with a final stop at Sea Life Park Hawaii before enjoying a relaxing evening at the house. Another day had been spent shopping for school supplies and some back to school clothes for Alex, Josh, and Sam while the Boyers took a family trip to the Dole Plantation. The last day of the Boyers visit had been spent touring Pearl Harbor, visiting the USS Battleship Missouri Memorial, the Pacific Historic Parks, USS Bowfin Submarine Museum, the Pacific Aviation Museum, and the USS Oklahoma Memorial before making a stop at Punchbowl National Cemetery so Alex could visit with her grandfather for a bit.

Catherine's farewell ceremony for leaving the Navy had taken place two days after her parents had returned from their honeymoon. It had been, for the most part, a beautiful ceremony on top of one of the aircraft carriers at Naval Air Station Pearl Harbor. It had been awesome to see, as well as meet, all the people who had come out to support Catherine in her transition from military to civilian life. As everyone had applauded Catherine for her support to their nation, she had felt so proud, standing there next to her dad and Catherine's parents, to be able to call Catherine her mom. However, something strange had happened near the end of the ceremony and, even though she had not mentioned what had happened to anyone, it still bothered her and made her have an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. That uneasy feeling had manifested itself as a snippy, disrespectful attitude that had gotten her in trouble the last couple of evenings.

Her junior year of high school had started the day after the ceremony. Josh's football practice had started that very first day of the school year while her cross-country practice wasn't due to start until the second week. At lunch during those first few days, she had been working with one of the music teachers to develop an after school music program at one of the nearby elementary schools. After school, while Josh had been at practice, she had stayed at the school, working on homework, talking to the volunteer coordinator, and meeting to discuss Heart2Heart activities for the year. That afternoon a meeting had been set up between Principal Kamiya, some of the teachers, the Heart2Heart student leaders, other students, and the parents of all those students; the specific reason why had not been provided beforehand. Both of her parents had promised to be at the meeting – they were also standing in for Mr. Sullivan – yet, neither of them had bothered to show up; Alex had assumed they had both gotten stuck at work. When she and Josh walked into the house after being dropped off by Tracy's mom, Alex's forgiving attitude had quickly changed to anger when she saw what – or should she say _who_ – was sitting in the living room with her parents.

"Hey, Sweetheart, Josh," Steve greeted. Gesturing towards their guest, he said, "This is Lieutenant Commander Harrington. Billy, this is my daughter Alex and her boyfriend Josh."

Alex didn't even bother to look at the man. "So this is where you've been," she commented, crossing her arms angrily in front of her and glaring at her dad and Catherine. "Here I was thinking you missed the meeting at my school because you were working."

"Alex," Steve said, his tone sending her a warning to keep her attitude in check while he silently berated himself for having forgotten the meeting at her school. As Billy excused himself, with Catherine seeing him to the door, Alex just continued to glare. Not wanting to get in the middle of the impending family argument, Josh also excused himself and headed into the backyard to join his brother and Anchor.

"That was very rude," Catherine stated, closing the front door and turning to look at her. "Do we need to punish you again for your bad attitude?"

Alex turned to look at her, her anger with Catherine growing substantially. "I'm the rude one? What about you? You were supposed to be at a meeting at my school." _Not to mention how rude it was of you to look at stupid Billy Harrington the way you did at your ceremony. You should have only been looking at my dad, _your_ husband, that way. Not your stupid ex-boyfriend._

"We forgot that was today," Catherine replied. "I'm sorry about that but it doesn't excuse your …" she trailed off when Alex mumbled something under her breath.

"What did you say?"

"I said," Alex replied, turning to face her dad who had posed the question. "I can't believe you both are sitting here entertaining the man who is trying to wreck your marriage."

"You are totally out of line right now," Catherine told her, shocked by Alex's outburst. "I have had it with your attitude! Go to your room!"

Alex glared furiously at her before speaking to her dad again. "You saw it, too. I know you did." She pulled a piece of paper out of her backpack and slammed it down on the couch. "In case you care at all, this is what you missed at the meeting." She turned and headed towards the stairs, bumping Catherine out of the way as she did.

"Once again you are being rude and disrespectful," Catherine told her, rubbing the sting out of her arm from where Alex had roughly hit it.

"Yeah?" Alex asked, turning to look at her from the fourth step. "Well, maybe I have a right to be."

"What is your problem?" Catherine asked, her tone expressing that she was clearly frustrated.

"You are!" Alex shouted before turning and running up the stairs.

Catherine stared at Alex's closed bedroom door – the teenager had not slammed it for once – for several minutes while her breathing calmed down and her anger subsided slightly. When she turned around to face Steve, he was still sitting on the edge of the coffee table, his eyes focused on the piece of paper that Alex had left there. "What was she talking about?"

"Hmm?" Steve asked, looking up at her. He was distracted by what he had been reading.

"She said that 'you saw it, too'," Catherine reminded him. "What –"

"I don't know," Steve interrupted. He had a slight inkling about what his daughter had been referring to but he couldn't be entirely sure until he talked to Alex.

Catherine watched him for several long seconds, trying to gauge whether or not he was telling her the truth. "What she said about Billy…" she trailed off, Alex's accusation echoing through her mind. "Do you feel the same way?" Steve's silence answered the question for her. "Oh my god, you do, don't you? I told you that taking the job was a bad idea."

"Look, Cath," he said, standing up to face her. "I meant what I said the other day – I trust you."

"You admitted that it bothered you," she reminded him. "But you never once mentioned that you felt like he was trying to wreck our marriage. Billy knows we're married and he –"

"I don't think he's trying to ruin our marriage," he interrupted, thinking back to that moment at the end of Catherine's ceremony when she had locked eyes with Billy, giving him her biggest smile of the day. It had given him an uneasy feeling then and it continued to do so now. "I just… I…" he glanced upstairs and then down at the piece of paper in his hand. "I can't do this right now; I need to go talk to my daughter."

"Steve."

"Cath," he stated, not giving her a chance to finish her thought. "I'm sorry and I love you but I can't do this right now." Roughly fifteen minutes later – he had made a stop in the bedroom to change his clothes and then had received a call from the governor – he was stepping into his daughter's room, pulling the chair out from under her desk and sitting on it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair, so he could face her who was sitting on the bed, her textbooks spread out all over it. When she didn't acknowledge his presence, he said, "I'm really sorry that I missed the meeting at your school."

She shrugged but didn't look at him. "No big deal. It wasn't important anyways."

"Not important?" he asked, thinking about the piece of paper he had left downstairs with Catherine which discussed an awards ceremony – it had been cancelled in the spring due to several logistical reasons – for all high schools in Hawaii. Students from each school were nominated for awards and the winners would be announced next month at a dinner in Waikiki. "Heart2Heart is being recognized and you're nominated for three individual awards. How is that not important?"

She looked up from her notebook. "I guess it's not that important when I think about my family falling apart."

"Our family isn't…" he trailed off, seeing the turmoil in her eyes. "Your mom and I are fine." Alex shook her head in disagreement and then returned to her homework. "Alex."

"You saw the way she looked at him," she commented, not lifting her head to look at him. "I know you saw it. I saw how uncomfortable it made you and you didn't say anything to her about it." She glanced upwards briefly. "And then you decided to act like everything was fine and invite him over here."

"Billy came to talk to us some more about Catherine's job," he told her before quickly realizing that she didn't give a damn. "So that's why you yelled at her?" he asked, switching gears.

"Someone had to say something about it and you weren't going to."

"Alex," he said, reaching out and patting her foot so that she looked at him. "Your mom and I are fine," he repeated. "Your mom would never cheat on me."

"Cheating isn't just physical, Dad," she told him, finally dropping her pencil and setting her notebook to the side. "It could also be emotional. Or something as simple as creating a situation for the possibility of physical contact."

"Since when did you become an expert on this?"

"Since I watched mom do it over and over again to different men," Alex shot back, annoyed by the amused tone in his voice.

"Listen to me, Alex," he told her. "I know Billy and he's a good guy. Sure, he and your mom dated at one point and maybe, just maybe, he regrets that their relationship didn't last longer BUT he knows we are married and he would never do anything to ruin that."

"You had just gotten back from your honeymoon and she looked at him like that!" Alex took a deep breath to control her anger. "She should have been looking at you that way, not him." She swiped her hand across her eyes. "I'm mad at her."

Steve nodded. "Yeah, you made that pretty clear downstairs."

Alex bit her lip and then looked at him timidly. "I guess I should confess that I called him."

"Who? Billy?" When his daughter nodded, he asked, "How did you get his number?"

"It's probably better that you not know that," she answered. "I told him that I get really defensive when it comes to my family." She puffed out her cheeks and then expelled a breath. "I didn't call him any names but I wasn't very nice to him."

"Alex," he said, shaking his head in disappointment.

"I guess I'm grounded, aren't I?"

Steve nodded but took a few moments to determine her punishment. Sure, it wasn't model behavior to call an adult and be rude to him on the phone but, with all things considered, it certainly was not the worst thing she had ever done. Besides, call it bad parenting if you will, he was actually proud of her for sticking up for her family. Even if she had gone about it disrespectfully. "I want your cell phone. You're also banished to your room for the rest of the night. You can only leave to use the bathroom and I will bring you something to eat. Also no talking to Josh." He sent her a pointed look, sensing what she was thinking. "That doesn't mean you two can try to sneak one by me and spend the rest of the night kissing or doing whatever." He knew their teenage logic would argue that he had only said no to speaking to each other but not to kissing – one didn't need to talk in order to kiss – and he knew he needed to make his expectations very clear. "On second thought: you're not allowed to see Josh at all until tomorrow morning. Got it?"

* * *

"Hey, Steve."

"Jason?" Steve asked, glancing down at his watch. He was surprised to be hearing his friend's voice on the phone; it was only early afternoon here. He had been expecting a call from Catherine, who was finalizing plans for that evenings' double date with Danny and Gabby. Catherine had suggested the idea only that morning and he assumed it was her way of taking her mind off of the fact that she and Alex had barely talked to each other since Alex had blown up at her three nights ago. "The kids aren't out of school yet."

"I know," Jason replied. "Are they…" he trailed off, hesitating for several seconds. "How are my boys? Are they behaving okay? They're doing well, right?"

"They're doing great." Steve silently excused himself from the break room and stepped into his office. Something about Jason, something in his voice, seemed off. "What's going on, man? Are you okay?"

Jason expelled a loud breath. "I'm sorry that you have to watch them longer than expected." His parents had been forced to delay their trip to Hawaii due to a medical setback for his mother. "But I'm glad they'll have you in case something happens. I know you'll take care of them when they get the news."

"Tough deployment, huh?" Steve commented, still very concerned about the strangeness of his friend's behavior, but sensing what was causing Jason to act weird. He'd been there himself, that moment when his mind finally succumbed to the hell surrounding him, that moment when he felt like he would never see his daughter again, and he wouldn't wish that anxiety on anyone.

Jason released a tremulous sigh. "The worst." The silence that followed could only have been understood by someone who had shared a similar experience; it spoke volumes about how dire Jason perceived his situation to be. "Make sure they know that I love them," Jason finally said. "Please don't ever stop telling them that."

"They know you love them," Steve assured him. "And you'll get to tell them that yourself."

"Steve, I –"

"Look, man," Steve interrupted. "That thing you're feeling right now? I get it. Believe me I do."

"Then you know I need you to hear me out."

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I do. Listen, I'll hear you out. I'll do whatever you need me to do but you have to remember to not let this feeling take control of you. You fight it, you give it all you have, and you do what you have to do, for as long as you can do it. And while you do that, I'll take care of your boys as if they were my own."

"I know you will," Jason told him. "And thank you again for taking care of them for me." He expelled another shaky breath. "Steve… my letters. There's one for each of them. Can you… would you mind being the one who gives them to my boys? I don't think I can handle giving my parents that responsibility."

It took a minute for Steve to respond. Jason sounded confident that he would never make it home to his boys and that scared the hell out of him. "_If _it comes down to that then, yes, I will do that for you but I honestly hope that I will never have to."

"Me too," Jason replied. His voice took on a haunted tone. "But it's… I…" he trailed off, failing to find the words to express that feeling in his gut, the notion in his soul, that his unit would soon experience a terrible calamity which very few, if any, would survive. "I better go. Thanks again, Steve. You've been a great friend and I can never repay you for everything you're doing for my boys."

"You can buy me a beer when you get back, okay?" Steve remained in his office long after Jason had hung up with him. He was still stunned by the conversation he had shared with Jason. It had actually been very reminiscent of a conversation he had once had with his father. It had been around Alex's ninth birthday and he had been experiencing this strange yet profound feeling deep within that had made him feel like he would never see his child again. He had never made it a point to talk to his father about things of that magnitude – he had spent so much time learning how to cope with those things on his own – but, on that particular day, it had been important to ask his dad to deliver his letter to Alex, should something ever happen to him. It had almost become reality later that day when he had taken two bullets to the leg; Freddie and Sam had pulled him to safety mere minutes before their broken down convoy had been struck by numerous RPG's.

He still had his letter, locked up in a box in his closet, and, even after Alex had come to live with him, he continued to update it every year. Like the one his father had left for her, it was something tangible that Alex would be able to hold on to long after he was gone, and he knew that one day his handwritten words would soothe the pain she would feel over losing him. Catherine or Danny, depending on the circumstances, would now be the ones to give Alex his letter if he were killed. Of course, he hoped his daughter didn't have to experience that anytime soon.

Just like he hoped Sam and Josh never had to experience what he had as a kid: a car pulling in the drive; a knock on the door; some stranger giving you the news that tilts your entire world on its axis. No kid ever deserved to go through something like that, especially those two boys, and he silently sent up a prayer, asking that they all be spared from losing Jason.

* * *

The glint off of something metallic was the first indication that something was about to happen. Jason barely had time to give his troops a heads up before the first shot rang out. Almost instantaneously the twenty-four year old Staff Sergeant to Jason's left was struck by the lone bullet; Jason's face was sprayed by the blood from the damaged carotid artery. Shouts rang out from all around him. Jason dove behind a boulder as bullets hit the gravel near his feet. He fired a few shots, aiming for the rocky ledge above them, without really knowing where the shooting was coming from; it felt like the bullets were coming from all directions.

A bloodcurdling scream came from a man on his right. Private Ammons, only three years older than Josh, was holding his thigh, the blood seeping out from beneath his fingers. Jason screamed for a medic as he ran towards the kid, shooting his weapon towards the mountainside as bullets whizzed by him. He slid to a stop at Ammons side, as three other soldiers took up cover around them. Jason searched for their medic; in the chaos it was impossible to find him. Jason pulled his medical fanny pack – every soldier was provided a simplified version of the combat medic kit to use for self-care – off of his waist and started to rummage through it. An explosion behind him made his ears ring and, even though he continued shouting – for the medic, for his men to keep up their defensive actions, for someone to call for air support – he couldn't hear a damn thing.

He placed a strong hand on Ammons leg, applying pressure to the wound, as he pulled a tourniquet out of the bag. He worked quickly, placing the tourniquet above the wound, and securing it tightly in place. He then pulled a packet of Celox Gauze hemostatic agent out of the bag, tightly packing the deep wound with the gauze, and then applying pressure with both hands to compress it. As he waited the necessary three minutes for full compression, he looked over his shoulder, in the direction of where the explosion had come from. What he saw nearly caused him to vomit. The gravel footpath and surrounding foliage was tinted red. Multiple limbs could be seen on the ground; the bodies they had been attached to were nowhere to be seen.

He saw a soldier – twenty year old Specialist Peters – staggering towards them, his hands clutching his abdomen. Another soldier, eighteen year old Private Warner, ran towards Peters, picking him up and carrying him towards them. Both stumbled to the ground next to him as the bullets tore into them from behind; intestines came spilling out of Peters as he hit the ground. As another soldier tended to Warner – they could do nothing for Peters – Jason returned his attention back to Ammons, he wrapped the packed wound, hoping like hell that air support and a MEDAVAC chopper arrived soon.

The medic finally joined them, limping due to his wounded and bloodied left leg, instantly giving Ammons a morphine injection before turning to render aid to Warner. As the firefight died down, Jason ordered the remaining uninjured men to take up a perimeter around the wounded, reminding them to be on alert for any movement above them. It was only when Jason attempted to move – he intended on joining his troops on the perimeter – did a sharp shooting pain in both of his legs make him realize he had been shot. Looking down at his legs, it quickly became clear that not all of the blood on the ground where Ammons' laid had been Ammons'; Jason's own blood had pooled there, too.

That was when his senses came back to him. The smell of burning human flesh and blood; the sounds of men crying for their mothers and the shout of the medic telling him to sit down; the feel of his blood, warm and sticky; the taste of bile in his mouth; the sight of chaos and injury and death. The shout of "incoming" rang out and Jason rolled to cover Ammons with his body; shrapnel hit him in the back as it rained down on them. His ears were ringing again as he lifted himself off of Ammons, grateful that the boy was still alive. He looked around only to find that more of them had been injured, to what extent it was hard to tell due to the blood now dripping from his head into his eyes. As his hearing slowly returned, a sound behind him startled him. He didn't even have time to squeeze the trigger of his weapon before his entire world went black.

* * *

**"The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he ****loves**** what is behind him."** - **GK Chesterton**

**A/N: I struggled with the vows. I also want to apologize for not diving into episode three as much as I would have liked – my cable company apparently has limited the amount of time shows can be kept on my DVR and automatically deletes those that have been there for more than 45 days. The shows were on my DVR last week when I went to re-watch them in order to write this chapter they were gone.**

**I used to work with a lady whose son was KIA in Iraq. She reported that the last time she talked to him, her son had sounded "different", as if he knew that his death was near. He was killed the next day, on her birthday. I have known other people who have also been "different" in the days leading up to their deaths and, in a few of those cases, I believe that they had some sort of notion, deep in their souls, that their time on Earth was near its end. That is what inspired me to write Jason's phone call to Steve. **

**On a final note: to all readers in the United States – have a wonderful Thanksgiving!**

**As always, please leave a review! Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for all of the reviews and follows. Very brief reference to episode 4.04 but nothing that would serve as much of a spoiler. **

* * *

Alex sat at the desk in her room, staring at the desktop, her eyes drifting from the stack of loose leaf college ruled paper to the four text books with their respective notebooks. Here it was a Monday night and she had a long night ahead of her, thanks to every single one of her teachers giving big assignments that were due the next day. She had probably at least three hours of reading to do for three of her classes – AP Biology, Psychology, and AP European History – plus thirty problem sets for Honors Pre-Calculus to complete. Not to mention the twenty-five end of chapter questions each for Biology and European History. To top that off, now she also owed Catherine a three to five page essay about her behavior the last couple of days, what she should have done differently, how it had affected everyone involved, and lessons learned.

As far as Alex had known, her dad should have been the one picking her and Josh up after their practices. To say that she had been surprised – and a little angry – when she had found Catherine waiting for her in the parking lot would be an understatement. When Catherine had angrily told her to get her butt in the car (adding that she had arranged for Josh and Sam to stay at friends' houses for the night) she had sensed that hell was coming. The entire drive home had been full of Catherine yelling at her for having called Billy the other night – he, apparently, had informed Catherine about it earlier that day while discussing plans for Catherine's first day of work tomorrow – before dishing out the list of punishments and consequences for the behavior. The fact that Catherine had accurately interpreted the cause of her behavior on Friday – a fear of being abandoned by another mother – had not lessened the punishment any. Nor did the fact that Alex had already apologized to him, completely on her own accord, with no pressure from either of her parents to do so. No cell phone or computer – completing written assignments for school was the sole exception – for two weeks. No social events for a week – straight home every single day after cross-country practice, with no exceptions – and some additional chores around the house for the next month. As if that wasn't excessive punishment enough, Catherine then added this stupid little handwritten, single spaced essay that was due by breakfast tomorrow morning.

Still feeling overwhelmed about everything she had to get finished that night, Alex sighed and sat back in the chair. She felt the beginning of a headache coming on and rubbed her temples in a counter-clockwise motion. She nearly jumped out of the chair when she heard her dad's unexpected voice disrupting the silence of the room. "I thought I would find you doing your homework downstairs."

"Yeah, well," Alex replied, "Catherine grounded me to my room."

"Oh," he said, stepping into the room and taking a seat on the edge of her bed facing her. "For what?" He had just gotten home to get ready for his and Catherine's double date with Danny and Gabby. He had not yet seen Catherine; the sound of water coming from their bathroom indicated she was showering.

"Billy told her I called him the other night." She laid her fingers on her textbooks. "I have _so much _homework to do tonight and now she's making me right some essay for her." She shook her head in mild disbelief. "She went overboard on the grounding. Even _you_ don't punish me as much as she just did." She pointed to the stack of paper. "And an essay? Really? You have _never_ made me write as a form of punishment."

"She's not me, Alex," Steve reminded her. "I'm sure she has her reasons for punishing you the way she did."

"But, Dad."

He shook his head. "No, Alex." He locked eyes with her, making sure she maintained eye contact with him before he continued. "I fully support her decision to punish you regardless of how excessive you feel it may be."

Alex's face took on an argumentative expression. "But, Dad, this is too much punishment for just calling Billy."

He shrugged. "Maybe it's not _just_ for calling Billy." He expelled a breath as he glanced to the picture frame on his daughter's desk. It was a picture of the three of them, taken on the day Catherine had adopted Alex. He reached over and picked it up. "You wanted this," he reminded her, turning the picture so she could see it. "Remember?"

"What?"

He set the picture frame back down in its' previous spot as he continued to look at the picture. "You asked Catherine to adopt you. You wanted her to become your mom." He looked at his daughter again as he stood up, thinking about how, on most occasions when Alex was upset about some parenting choice of Catherine's, she resorted back to calling Catherine by her first name. "You don't call me Steve when you're mad at me and you never called your mother Cindy either. Catherine deserves to be treated the same way. If she's your mom now, she's your mom no matter what. You don't get to stop calling her mom just because you're mad at her." When Alex didn't say anything in response, he started to head out of the room. "There are leftovers from last night in the fridge; make sure you eat something for dinner."

* * *

Alex placed the plate of food into the microwave, setting the timer to three minutes and hitting the start button. Ignoring the begging look in Anchor's eyes, she flipped open her AP European History book to the handout that contained additional reading material; a select passage from Boccaccio's _The Decameron_, translated by Richard Hooker. She read: _In 1348, there came into the noble city of Florence, the most beautiful of all Italian cities, a deadly pestilence, which, several years earlier had originated in the Orient, where it destroyed countless lives, scarcely resting in one place before it moved to the next, and turning westward its strength grew monstrously. _The sound of the doorbell ringing pulled her attention away from the description of when the Bubonic Plague had arrived in Florence. Leaving her book where it was, she headed to the front of the house, looking through the peephole. Seeing who was standing on the other side of the door, it took her some time to figure out what to do. Remembering the butt chewing she had received from Catherine only a few hours earlier, she took a deep breath and, knowing that she needed to be nice, opened the door. "Hi," she greeted. "They're not here."

"Okay," Billy Harrington replied. "I came to see you anyways." The teenager had called him on Saturday morning, apologizing for her having had yelled at him the previous night, and, while it hadn't excused her behavior in any way, it had earned her a little bit of respect; not all teenagers admitted it when they had screwed up. After his conversation with Catherine earlier that day, he figured he should probably have a face-to-face with Steve's daughter, too; she needed to hear from him that he had no plan or desire to split her parents up.

Alex expelled an annoyed breath; she didn't really have time for this. She needed to eat dinner and still had more homework to do, not to mention that essay she still needed to write for Catherine. "I, um…"

"I talked to Catherine today," Billy told her, choosing to ignore the teenager's discomfort. "She explained some things to me and I now understand why you said what you said to me." When he had found out some of the teenager's history – how her mother had abandoned her and then been murdered – he had felt a little twinge of pain at merely guessing how much those actions had hurt both the girl and Steve. Not that it was an excuse for her behavior – Catherine had declared over and over that Alex's behavior had been un-excusable – but at least he now understood her reaction a little better.

"Lieutenant Commander Harrington –"

"I'm not in the Navy anymore; you can call me Billy."

She wasn't sure her Dad would agree. "Sir, I –"

"I never intended to cause tension within your family, Alexandra," he interrupted. "I mean, yes, I dated Catherine at one time, and maybe a part of me wishes I had never let her go, _but_ I would never get in the middle of what she has with your dad."

"What if she wasn't married to my Dad?" Alex realized it sounded a little aggressive, a little accusatory, but so be it. "Would –"

"I did one tour with your Dad and –"

Alex nodded. "He did mention that once."

Billy nodded. "When you experience the things that we did… well, it bonds you. It's a brotherhood and when you see one of your brothers happy…"

"He is happy," Alex commented. "They both are."

Billy nodded again. "Even if they weren't married I would never come between them." He expelled a breath. "Look, Alexandra. Catherine's a friend and she's good at what she does. She'll be great at this job. "

Alex glanced over her shoulder in the direction of the kitchen; the inpatient beeping of the microwave wouldn't stop until she opened the appliance door. She looked back at Billy – he sounded sincere enough and he really wasn't as irritating as she thought he would be – and said, "I'm taking a short break from homework to eat dinner. Are you hungry? We have a ton of leftovers from this weekend." He was a friend to both of her parents; the least she could do was get to know him.

* * *

Lost in a daze, Steve pulled his truck into the driveway. He put the vehicle in park but left the engine idling as he sat there, staring at the steering wheel, completely stunned by the sudden turn of events. Things had been going extremely well for the last week; neither he nor Catherine had expected something like this to happen. Alex and Catherine's relationship was back to normal – better even than it had been – and, while Alex was only in the beginning stages of her extended grounding, it seemed that Catherine's punishment for her was already working. Catherine's first few days on the job had gone exceptionally well and she had come home every night happy and excited to talk about her day with him and, occasionally, the children. All three kids were doing well in school – he and Catherine had attended parent (or in their case with Josh and Sam, guardian) teacher, start-of-the-school year conferences earlier in the week – and at their after-school activities; in the evenings, while the high schoolers worked on their homework, Sam's jovial laughter reverberated through the house. The boys had finally fully adjusted to both their father being deployed and the fact that their grandparents wouldn't make it to Oahu for at least another month.

He feared the boys successes and overall well-being were about to undergo a complete one-eighty. Catherine and Billy had tied up one of their cases earlier than expected that afternoon so Catherine had stopped by HQ to ride home with him. That was where they had been when two unexpected visitors had shown up with news that had practically stolen the breath out of him. It hadn't been the first time he had received news of a similar nature; perhaps it was due to that last conversation he had had with Jason but, this time, the news struck deeper than it ever had before. He appreciated the way this was being handled – him and Catherine being given a heads up before the boys would be told – but it didn't make it any easier. Remembering his own experience at the age of sixteen, he knew this would be one of the hardest things he would ever have to do; he could envision the lost looks on the boys' faces, the fear in their eyes. Just like he could imagine the brave front that would be on his daughter's face, even though she would be terrified inside, when he told her the additional news later.

"Steve." The sound of Catherine's voice and the feel of her hand on his leg caused him to tear his eyes away from the steering wheel. She nodded her head backwards towards the vehicle that had followed them into the driveway. "They're waiting for us," she reminded him, referring to the two Army Officers who had met them at HQ; Rear Admiral Jones had headed back to Pearl right after their meeting earlier. "Ready?"

He didn't answer as he turned off the truck and he didn't say a single word until he stepped inside of the house. "Kids?"

"In here, Dad," Alex shouted, her voice ringing out from the dining room.

Steve shared a look with Catherine, his eyes telling her that their guests needed to stay there and he would bring the boys to them. He headed to the dining room where he found all three kids, their textbooks and notebooks spread out over the surface of the table, and snack plates of apples and peanut butter in the center of the table. It was Friday and, as was the norm for all three of them, they were completing their homework now instead of waiting until the last minute on Sunday afternoon. He hesitated for a minute, wondering if the rest of their homework would go uncompleted once they had this conversation with Brigadier General Caldwell and Chaplain Swanson. "I need you to take a break from your homework," he told the Sullivan boys. "There's someone here who wants to speak with both of you."

With curious looks, they both stood up and followed Steve out of the room. Josh stopped in place as soon as he recognized one of the men standing near the front door of the house. His heart started to beat rapidly and his hands became sweaty. "No," he stated, shaking his head. "No."

"Josh?" Alex asked, coming up from behind him and standing next to him.

"Josh?" Sam asked, fear entering his body as he heard the frightened tone of his brother's voice.

"Josh," Steve and Catherine said, concern yet calmness in their voices. "It's –"

"Son," General Caldwell spoke, taking a step towards the boys. "Joshua and Samuel, I –"

"No," Josh repeated, shaking his head. He found it hard to breathe – he felt like he was being strangled – and he grasped at the collar of his shirt.

"Josh!" Sam exclaimed, terror in his voice. "What's wrong?" He looked at Steve; he, unlike his brother, didn't know protocol for things like this. "Why is General Caldwell here?" That was when he put two and two together – Josh's behavior; the pair of Army Officers; the fact that they hadn't heard from their dad in over a week – and it all made sense. With tears in his eyes, he looked at General Caldwell. "Please don't tell me my Dad is dead." At his brother's words, Josh fell back against the wall, sliding down until he was seated on the floor; Sam curled up next to him, seeking comfort from his brother, as tears rolled down his cheeks. Alex stood in a daze as Catherine went over to the boys, kneeling beside them and rubbing their backs.

General Caldwell stepped across the room, his dress shoes making a tapping noise on the wooden floorboards. It had not surprised him that Jason's oldest son had reacted the way he had upon seeing him; he remembered being Josh's age when a Casualty Notification Officer had stopped by his family's home, informing them that his father had been Killed In Action in Vietnam. He wished he could have done this differently, in a way that would not have caused the two boys instant terror, because this situation was not the same as the one he had experienced as a teenager. He squatted in front of the boys. Forced to adhere to military protocol he couldn't just ease their nerves; he had to say the necessary words. "The Secretary of the Army has asked me to inform you that your father, Jason Sullivan, has been reported as having been taken captive by enemy forces in Afghanistan. When we receive –"

"C-c-captive?" Josh stuttered emotionally, wriggling free of his brother and Catherine and cradling his head in his hands.

General Caldwell nodded. "Yes. He and three of his soldiers." When the rescue team had reached the spot where LT COL Sullivan's platoon had been attacked, it had been a bloody, chaotic mess. The MEDAVAC choppers had been able to transport three wounded casualties – among them, PFC Ammons – to Kabul, where they had been stabilized before being whisked away to Landstuhl for further treatment. After recovering the bodies of two young men, the rescue team had begun the tedious task of finding and bagging the various body parts that had become detached from their owners during the battle. That had been the only way of determining if all members of the platoon were accounted for and, when all of the DNA testing had been completed, and the identified remains had been sent back stateside to grieving families, the Army had learned that four members of the platoon were missing. It was only after one of the injured soldiers at Landstuhl had woken up after two different surgeries that reports of a Taliban kidnapping had come to light. Those reports had been confirmed only a few hours ago – there had even been some Intel as to where the foursome might have been taken – which was why the Sullivan boys were only now, seven days after the battle, learning of their father's status.

"So he's alive?" Sam asked, swiping a hand across his tear stricken face.

"He was taken alive," General Caldwell replied. "But there are reports that he had been injured."

Sam cried out at that, tearing himself free from Catherine's embrace and running into the downstairs bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him. Josh just stared at the closed bathroom door for several long seconds. He wanted to comfort his brother but he also needed to know more. "Injured?" Josh asked, looking up at General Caldwell. "How bad?"

"We don't know yet." General Caldwell reached over and placed a comforting hand on Josh's shoulder. "The Army has managed to arrange a special flight for your grandparents." He truly believed in doing everything he could for his soldiers and their families so, after learning that Jason Sullivan's mother had been ill for the last several months and that the only way her physician would allow her to fly was if one of her home aids could travel with her, he had made the arrangements to have James and Sophia Sullivan on Oahu within twenty-four hours. Even though Joshua and Samuel were in a safe and loving environment with the McGarrett's, the boys needed to be with their family during a time like this. "Their flight arrives tomorrow morning."

Josh swallowed hard, chasing away the lump in his throat, as he got back to his feet. It was as if he had not even heard the news about his grandparents. "Do you know where they are being held?"

General Caldwell didn't reply as he rose so he was facing the teenager. He turned and looked at Steve; they had decided earlier that they would work together to inform the kids about the next part. "Let's all have a seat," Steve said, gesturing towards the couch. The Chaplain and Catherine moved to the bathroom where they started talking to Sam through the closed door. Steve joined Josh and Alex on the couch as General Caldwell claimed the recliner. Steve took a deep breath, turning slightly so that he faced both Josh and Alex. The sound of the bathroom door opening made him hesitate and he waited until Sam joined them before he nodded to General Caldwell.

"To answer your question, Joshua, we know the general area of where they might be," Caldwell told him.

Steve nodded, glancing at the boys before locking eyes with his daughter. "I'm being called back to active duty as part of a joint effort between the Army and Navy." He saw the slight flash of surprise and fear in Alex's eyes. He turned his attention to the boys. "I will be joining a SEAL team whose mission is to rescue your dad and his soldiers."

* * *

Steve raised his hand and bid goodbye as Chaplain Swanson and General Caldwell pulled out of the driveway. He took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh breeze as he took a few moments to himself. He would be shipping out early tomorrow morning with no idea of knowing how long he might be gone. Even though he sensed that Catherine would worry, she had been fully supportive of his decision to join the rescue mission. Alex, on the other hand, had looked more scared than she had ever been with any of his deployments; it would be extra important that he spend some time with her tonight. He took another deep breath and slowly exhaled before turning and heading towards the side of the house, headed for the backyard where Josh had headed after Sam had once again locked himself inside the downstairs bathroom.

As he turned past the corner of the house, he immediately spotted Josh, who was standing behind the chairs set up in the backyard. He continued towards him without saying anything. "I'm fine," he heard Josh declare. Steve continued until he was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the teenage boy. "Oh," Josh said, glancing sideways at Steve. "It's you. I thought it was –"

Josh's quick glance had not managed to hide the tears that brimmed on his eyelids. "I know how hard this is on you," Steve interrupted. "I went through something similar once, in this very house, in that very room."

Josh nodded, remembering what Alex had told him about her grandmother. "Your mom."

Steve nodded. He gave Josh some time, hoping the boy would open up. When he didn't, Steve spoke up again. "You know, it's okay to admit that this is bothering you. It's okay to be scared."

Josh shook his head, refusing to look at Steve. "Sam's already having a breakdown; I can't let him see me upset." He gave into a heavy sigh. "I have to be strong for him."

Steve honestly felt that Sam needed to know that his brother was having an equally hard time dealing with the news of their father having been taken captive by the Taliban. Yet he also knew that Josh would more than likely shut down if he tried to push that opinion on the teenager. "I know your Dad has told you this before but the only way you can help someone else is if you help yourself first." Steve placed a comforting hand on Josh's shoulder, giving it a mild squeeze. He couldn't allow this teenager to stand here, all alone and crying, like the way he had on that night he had been told his mother had been killed in a car accident. "Being emotional doesn't make you any less of a man." His words must have been exactly what Josh needed to hear; before Steve knew it, Josh had turned, dropping his head onto Steve's shoulder and seeking comfort as he finally allowed himself to visibly express the fear that was coursing through his body.

* * *

Slowing down only as she entered the front yard, Alex let go of Anchor's leash, freeing him to run around the side of the house into the backyard where, she knew from experience, he would jump into the ocean to cool off from their run. She stopped to throw up in the bushes that lined the front side of the porch – she couldn't tell if it was a reaction to everything going on or just from pushing herself too hard on her run – before entering the house. She closed the front door behind her and, lost in what seemed like a clouded daze, she just stood there, not saying anything. Josh and Sam, neither of who acknowledged Alex's presence, were sitting on the couch, a laptop open to Skype on the coffee table in front of them. The daze she was experiencing made her deaf to their words.

"Oh, good," Steve said, placing a hand on her arm as he stepped onto the first floor landing after coming down the stairs, causing her to come out of the daze. "You're back." While he and Catherine had been occupied with the boys, Alex had left a brief note stating that she was taking Anchor for a run. He and Josh had come back inside half an hour ago so he estimated that Alex had been gone for about an hour. "Why don't you go shower and then we'll go pick up some takeout for dinner."

"I'm not hungry."

"That's okay," he told her, eyeing her carefully. It may not have been clear to an outsider but, to him, it was very evident that she wasn't doing very well with what had taken place this afternoon. "I still would enjoy your company when I go pick it up."

Alex nodded and headed up the stairs. She stopped by her room first to grab a change of clothes and then headed to the bathroom. She threw up once again before hopping into the shower and that's when she realized what specifically was making her sick to her stomach. Knowing that her dad would be facing the same danger that had led to Mr. Sullivan being taking captive, the overwhelming sense of worry that was associated with that knowledge, and the fear associated with knowing Mr. Sullivan was now a Prisoner of War, was nearly incapacitating. Added to that was her concern about Josh and Sam – they only had one parent and now they were dealing with the possibility of losing him, too – and the fear of losing _her_ dad during the mission to save _their_ dad.

After showering, she dressed and towel dried her hair before heading back to her room. She didn't know how long she had been sitting on the floor in front of the bookshelf at the end of her bed, staring at the etching of a lotus flower, when her dad showed up, knocking on the door of the room before stepping inside and asking if she was ready to go. "What's it mean?"

Not quite understanding her question, he joined her on the floor, sitting next to her. "What?"

She reached her hand inside one of the cubby spots on the bookshelf and ran her hand over the etching. "The unit you made for my room in Seattle has this, too." She looked at him. "Why a lotus flower?"

"Do you know the growth cycle of lotus flowers?"

Alex thought for a moment. "Don't they start out in the muck?"

Steve nodded. "The flower starts as a very tiny flower in the mud or muck of a pond. Then it starts to grow, moving towards the light above until it reaches the surface of the pond. Once it reaches the surface it starts to blossom, where it becomes an exquisite and beautiful flower."

"Okay," Alex said. "But why did you put it on my furniture and why did you choose to include one in your tattoo?"

Steve smiled at her. "You know when I got that tattoo?" She shook her head. "I got it the day after your Mom took to you to Seattle."

"Why?"

"To me, the lotus flower signifies the struggle and changes in life," he told her. "Having to say goodbye to you, having to watch you get on that plane, not knowing when I would see you again… it was a big change and I really struggled with it. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do up to that point. I selected the design because it served as a reminder that difficulties in life could be overcome."

"I guess I need to be reminded of that myself sometimes," Alex stated as she turned to look back at the etching.

"How are you doing with everything that happened this afternoon?"

Alex shrugged, deliberately not answering his question. "Did they ask you to go or did you volunteer?"

He couldn't be anything but honest with her. "They asked but I would have volunteered anyway." He ran a hand across the stubble on his face. "I've conducted missions in the area where Mr. Sullivan's unit came under attack. I –"

"I understand why you're going, Dad," she interrupted. "But that doesn't make it any easier."

Steve nodded, wrapping an arm around her and pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "I know it doesn't."

Alex pulled away and her hands went to her neck. She lifted the chain over her head, pulling her grandfather's dog tags out from underneath her shirt, and then handed them to her dad. "Here."

Steve shook his head. "I can't take those. Grandpa gave them to you."

"Please," Alex interrupted, her tone bordering on pleading. "I'll get them back from you when you come home." She grabbed his left hand and dropped the dog tags into them. "Please, Dad. It will make me feel better knowing you have them, like he's there with you, protecting you and keeping you safe."

* * *

Steve had been gone for nine days now and, with Josh and Sam's grandparents arriving the very morning of Steve's departure, it had just been the two of them since then. Catherine had found herself busy working every day but she had made it very clear – Billy had been completely supportive – that it was important she at least have breakfast with Alex every morning. She had been fortunate to be able to spend three evenings with Alex, too, although Alex had spent all three of those evenings working on homework, transcribing notes from the first part of the first interview she had conducted for her Culminating Project, and studying for the SAT's that she would be taking in November.

Catherine felt like she had made a big mistake by not spending more time with the teenager. Being busy at work had helped distract her from worrying about Steve and his SEAL team members as well as Jason and the other soldiers who were being held by the Taliban. Still, she felt like she probably should have requested time off; she felt that Alex was withdrawing more and more every day and it scared her. Even that afternoon, when Catherine had picked her up from practice, Alex had been quiet and not at all interested in chatting. When they had gotten home, Alex had headed straight to her room, only coming out when it was time for dinner; a dinner that Alex, as had started to become the norm, had eaten very little of, claiming that she wasn't hungry. Catherine had allowed Alex to leave the table, knowing that if she hounded the teenager about talking, it would only push her away. Instead, before Catherine had headed to her room for the night, she had bid the teenager good night, reminding Alex to come find her, no matter the hour or what else was going on, if she needed anything.

That had been almost three hours ago and Alex had not spoken a single word. When Catherine had checked on her nearly an hour ago, the teenager had been lying in her bed with all of the lights out. She hadn't quite been able to tell if Alex had truly been asleep or not but that hadn't stopped her from kissing the teenager on the head, whispering good night, and telling her that she loved her. Catherine had just decided to turn off the TV when she heard a knock on her open bedroom door. She looked up to see Alex, who was wearing a pair of Steve's sweatpants and one of his old Navy t-shirts, step into the room. Anchor followed behind her, settling on the floor facing the door as Alex climbed onto her father's side of the bed. "Hey, Honey," Catherine greeted. "How's it going?"

"Fine," Alex replied, looking straight ahead at the TV.

Catherine released a softened sigh as she eyed the girl. She couldn't remember the last time Alex had worn Steve's clothing. In fact, Alex had not been wearing his clothes when she had checked on her a little while ago. Wearing his clothes was another clear and obvious sign that Alex was really struggling with her father's absence. "How's Josh holding up?" She hoped that maybe talking about Josh would help Alex to open up about her own feelings.

"Crappy. He hasn't been playing very well at practice and he's not talking very much." She glanced at Catherine. "Not even to me."

"Alex –"

"I'm not mad at him," Alex interrupted, only guessing what Catherine had been going to say. "And it's not that I blame him either. It's a terrible situation and it's hard to put into words what it feels like to not know if you'll ever see your Dad again." She blinked hard, trying to force back the tears that threatened to fall. "It's just… I know what he's going through. When Wo Fat took my dad hostage in Korea…" she trailed off, shaking her head to clear it of the memories of when Uncle Danny had told her they were headed to Korea to help her dad. "I just wish Josh would open up a little, since I know what he's going through, and stop holding it all in."

_Oh, Alex, I wish the same thing for you. Just open up to me about what you're feeling right now. I can't help you if I don't. _Catherine reached over and squeezed Alex's hand. "I know it's hard when you see someone you care about shutting down, withdrawing into themselves, but you just need to keep reminding him that you're there for him and maybe, hopefully, one day he'll decide that he needs you." When Alex didn't say anything in return, Catherine opted for another route of conversation. "What's that you're holding?" she asked, referring to the item that Alex had carried into the room with her.

Alex looked down at the item, running a finger over the embroidered letters on the cover. "A photo album of Dad and me that my Grandpa made; it was one of the things he left for us." Alex grew really quiet again as she stared down at the album.

"I'm worried about you," Catherine vocalized. "You're not eating and I _know_ you're not sleeping. You're too quiet. You're throwing up at practice every day." She rubbed her thumb along the back of Alex's hand. "Alex, honey, please talk to me."

Alex looked at her, tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm scared." A single teardrop trailed down her left cheek. "Dad means everything to me." More tears started to fall. "He means everything to me and I am scared to death that he won't be coming home." She sniffled as she leaned into the hug that Catherine offered. "I'm scared. For myself and for you. For Josh and Sam." She swiped at her eyes, doing very little to stop the flow of tears. "I'm scared," she repeated. "And I'm angry. Why is life so unfair sometimes? It's…" she trailed off, giving into loud sobs that wracked her whole body. "We can't lose our dads. I still need my Dad."

* * *

**A/N: I can't remember which reader it was that suggested the idea of Steve going to rescue Jason. I apologize that I cannot list you by name (I've searched all of my pm's and cannot locate the message) so if it was you, please let me know and I will thank you by name in the next chapter. **

**Kudos if anyone can spot the line that shows just how far Alex and Steve's relationship has come... ;-) **

**If anyone has a link to where I can watch episode 4.05 could you please pm it to me? My DVR wiped things again, even though only 9% of the storage space is used. **

**Please R and R! Mahalo.**


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